2007-12-31 - Smelly Greyhound... We Will Get To Know Eachother Well
2007-12-27 - I'm Okay. You're Okay. I'm Okay If You're Okay.
2007-12-26 - I Hate Boxing Day
2007-12-25 - Nothing Says \"I Love You\" Like...
2007-12-23 - Kiss My Ass, Santa
2007-12-22 - Is Christmas Over Yet?
2007-12-21 - Die
2007-12-20 - I'm A Damn Hot Looking Goth, Dammit
2007-12-19 - Born A Ramblin' Emu
2007-12-18 - I Will Go Insane, And I Will Take You With Me
2007-12-17 - Hot Hot Hot
2007-12-16 - Work, Men, Tiredness, Anger...
2007-12-15 - Fuck You Cracktown. I'm Gone!
2007-12-13 - Deep Breaths...
2007-12-12 - So Much To Say - Dave Matthews Band
2007-12-11 - Can't... Handle... Life...
2007-12-10 - Technology, Eh? Hot Damn.
2007-12-09 - Wow, This Is Happening
2007-12-07 - My Dogs Are Barkin'!
2007-12-06 - Oh, And That Cabbage Was Still There Today
2007-12-05 - Coleslaw
2007-12-04 - Harrrrrrsh. But I Saw It Comin'.
2007-12-03 - You'd Be Surprised At How The Hardest Part Of Writing An Entry Is Thinking Up A Witty Title...
2007-12-03 - I Chime In: \"Haven't You People Ever Heard Of Closing The Goddamn Door?\"
2007-12-02 - Well Fuck You, Mang!
2007-11-30 - This Is The End... My Only Friend, The End
2007-11-29 - Sleep Rules All
2007-11-27 - Toxic Shock Sydrome, Anyone?
2007-11-26 - Hello. I Saw You. I Know You. I Knew You. I Think I Can Remember Your Name.
2007-11-25 - Roar
2007-11-22 - Good, Bad, Shitty, Indifferent... I Dunno
2007-11-21 - Everything Is Changing...
2007-11-20 - When The Mom's Start Getting Involved You Know It's Either Getting Serious, Or You're Only About 6 Years Old...
2007-11-19 - Like I Need A Hole In My Head...
2007-11-19 - Oh, Life Is Fun
2007-11-18 - Nothing's Perfect
2007-11-17 - I'm Glad They Realized These Women Are Not Worth Paying For...
2007-11-15 - It Hurts, Man. Jeez.
2007-11-14 - I'd Like Money Please, Thank You
2007-11-13 - More Than Smitten?
2007-11-13 - I Hates It
2007-11-12 - Mannnnicccccc
2007-11-09 - Yayz
2007-11-08 - Settling For Less... AGAIN!!!!!
2007-11-07 - Hmmmmmmmmmmmm
2007-11-06 - Thank You OKCupid!
2007-11-04 - What's That Noise?
2007-11-03 - COUGH
2007-11-02 - New Improved Emu: Now With Restraint And Common Sense!
2007-11-02 - Little Boys Grow Up To Be Big Men
2007-11-01 - And Pretty Much Every Song By Slipknot Would Sum Up My Attitude Quite Accurately
2007-10-31 - Me Having My Head Up My Ass Isn't Exactly A Newsflash...
2007-10-30 - Cast (last updated 12/04/2007)
2007-10-29 - Things And Stuff And Random And My Eyeball Is Itchy
2007-10-29 - I Have A Bizarre And Sick Sense Of Humour, Perhaps
2007-10-28 - Never Happened... No Proof... Never Happened...
2007-10-27 - Never Had Someone Offer Me That Much Money Before, I Gotta Say...
2007-10-26 - Gah!
2007-10-25 - Crackbook Crackbook Crackbook
2007-10-24 - Doubtful
2007-10-23 - Life Or Something Like It
2007-10-22 - I Feel Strange
2007-10-21 - Once Thing 1 Is Gone I'll Probably Stop Drinking...
2007-10-21 - Yeah, Okay, I'm Giving Up Drinking... And Men
2007-10-20 - My Life Is So Full But Yet So Empty At The Same Time...
2007-10-19 - I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!!!.... Until Tomorrow Night
2007-10-18 - I Can't Even Begin To Tell You How Fucked Up I Feel
2007-10-17 - It's A Miracle I Didn't Fall Asleep While Writing This
2007-10-16 - I Don't Like The Drugs And The Drugs Don't Like Me
2007-10-15 - Don't Answer That Question
2007-10-15 - This Is Really Bad Iced Tea I'm Drinking. I Do Not Recommend It.
2007-10-14 - Maybe, If We Last That Long, I'll Stop At Ten
2007-10-13 - I'm Sure It's My Fault
2007-10-12 - Preparing Me For My Inevitable Eventual Motherhood?
2007-10-12 - Yeah. Um... I Dunno.
2007-10-11 - When I Dream, I'm Doing You All Night
2007-10-10 - You And Me And Bottle Of Vodka Makes Three...
2007-10-10 - God Bless Me And My Drunken Honesty
2007-10-08 - Crappy Thanksgiving!
2007-10-07 - Second Entry Of The Day And Shit
2007-10-07 - And, As Is Typical For The Emu, All Of A Sudden The World EXPLODES
2007-10-04 - I Like Diet Pepsi
2007-10-04 - I Hate You. I Hate Me.
2007-10-03 - Meh. Blah. Whatevs.
2007-10-02 - N To The O
2007-10-01 - And That Dip, Perfect For The Crusts!
2007-09-30 - Thank You, Thank You! Be Sure To Tip Your Waitress! Try The Veal!
2007-09-30 - Kahlua And Vodka And Vex... Oh My!
2007-09-28 - Oh... Oh, The Interestingness
2007-09-28 - Ha. Men.
2007-09-27 - Can I Blame The Drugs?
2007-09-25 - I Have A Special Connection With My Living Room Floor
2007-09-25 - Sketch Sketch Sketch Sketch...
2007-09-24 - Gimme That Map, Motherfucker
2007-09-23 - I Hate This
2007-09-22 - Yay For Pleasant Surprises When You're Consumed With Thoughts Of Death
2007-09-21 - Not Good, No Fun
2007-09-20 - Only A Matter Of Time
2007-09-20 - Emu & Thing 1's Drunken Good Times, Volume 734
2007-09-19 - Hmmm Ummm Zzz
2007-09-18 - At Least It's True That The Job Market Is Somewhat Juicier Now
2007-09-18 - Under The Influence
2007-09-17 - It's Personal, Myself And I... We've Got Some Straightening Out To Do
2007-09-16 - Has Anyone Else Noticed That Emu-Head Isn't Funny Anymore?
2007-09-15 - I Quit Jobs Like They Don't Matter
2007-09-15 - Nothing Like Starting Your Morning By Crying And Throwing Up
2007-09-14 - I Am The Champion?
2007-09-12 - Not Crazy
2007-09-11 - Never Been Called Art Before, I Gotta Say...
2007-09-11 - Me = Still Less Whoreish Than Thing 1 And Thing 2
2007-09-09 - I Don't Ask For Much, You Know. I Really Don't.
2007-09-08 - Um... What?
2007-09-07 - I Rule
2007-09-06 - Home Again, Home Again...
2007-09-03 - I Hate Labour Day
2007-09-02 - Live Fast, Die Young, Leave A Beautiful Corpse... So I'm No Longer In Favour Of The Train.
2007-09-01 - I'll Kill You. I'LL KILL YOU!!!! Just Cuz.
2007-08-31 - Maybe If Shit Didn't Suck So Much Right Now, I Wouldn't Be So Goddamn Depressed
2007-08-30 - Smiley McSmiles-A-Lot Right Here, Baby!
2007-08-29 - Leave Me ALONE! Leave Me ALONE! Leave Me ALONE!
2007-08-28 - I'm Not Very Happy Right Now
2007-08-27 - Lordy Lordy
2007-08-26 - This Entry Is Kinda Hella Long... But I Did Promise The Granddaddy Of All Entries, Did I Not?
2007-08-24 - Hahahaha. Oh God.
2007-08-23 - Oh, The Things We Do
2007-08-22 - Fullfilling My Duties As The Responsible Older Cousin...
2007-08-21 - Mmmm, Beer...
2007-08-20 - Emu Has Calculated That It's Been Just Too Damn Long Since She Last Had Sex
2007-08-19 - Fear Street
2007-08-19 - The Worst Thing You Could Ever Say To That Type Of Person
2007-08-18 - Ha, I Forgot A Title...
2007-08-16 - Or Maybe That Nausea Is Just Me Being Pregnant... Oh, Immaculate Conception. I Knew It Would Happen To Me.
2007-08-15 - I Got Mah New Shoes On
2007-08-14 - Party? This Weekend? Lotsa Beer And Girly Drinks And Making Out With Random Strangers At The Bar? Possibly.
2007-08-13 - Hopefully The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Isn't A Freight Train Coming My Way...
2007-08-12 - Do My Laundry... Buck 25 A Load...
2007-08-11 - I Know That It's A Wonderful World But I Can't Feel It Right Now. I Thought That I Was Doing So Well But I Just Want To Cry Now.
2007-08-11 - Does Not Play Well With Others
2007-08-10 - Irritated
2007-08-09 - \"Stoked\" Doesn't Even Begin To Describe How I Feel, Really...
2007-08-08 - Hublippit
2007-08-07 - Can You Spare Some Change?
2007-08-06 - Emu-Head Needs To Start Acting Like Emu-Head Again...
2007-08-06 - I Always Thought I Was Better Than To Let Guys Do This To Me...
2007-08-05 - Fo Shizzle
2007-08-04 - Booze, Please.
2007-08-03 - Nothing Like Washing Your Underwear To Start Your Day Off Right
2007-08-02 - Thank You For Noticing
2007-08-01 - Currently Desiring A Life Of No Work AND No Play...
2007-07-31 - I'm Just So Good
2007-07-30 - Yep. Yep. YEP.
2007-07-26 - I Should Have Washed My Hair. Why Didn't I Wash My Hair?!
2007-07-25 - In The Ghetto. IN THE GHETTO!
2007-07-24 - Oh... Oh, The Pain. THE PAIN!
2007-07-23 - I Ain't Got No Crystal Ball...
2007-07-22 - Y?
2007-07-21 - Uggggh And Stuff
2007-07-20 - I Like To Make A Statement. I Like That Statement To Be \"I Have Eyes\".
2007-07-19 - I Live In A Garbage Can...
2007-07-18 - There Is Not Enough Chocolate In The World Right Now...
2007-07-17 - And I Know There's Something About Me That Just Screams \"Islander\"
2007-07-15 - And The Horse You Rode In On
2007-07-14 - I Can't Decide Whether You Should Live Or Die
2007-07-13 - Today Was The Day That 5450 Became 5430
2007-07-12 - Insert Unshocked Gasps Here
2007-07-11 - Shame Is Good, Though
2007-07-11 - oirmeawgdstritufnosfgjnsdrtjiseo
2007-07-09 - I Am A Large Bird Incapable Of Flight
2007-07-08 - And Stuff And Jeez And Yeah And Whoa And Yep
2007-07-07 - And I Can Take Comfort In The Fact That I'm Not As Desperate As My Beloved Curly Sue
2007-07-06 - And I Burnt My Thumb
2007-07-04 - And I Think Jesus Prefers MSN As Well
2007-07-03 - Just Don't Ask Me To Do Stuff For You, And You'll Be Fine
2007-07-02 - You Should Go!
2007-07-01 - I Need To Stop Multiple Long Entries In One Day, You All Are Gonna Lose Interest In Me... If You Haven't Already
2007-07-01 - At Least I'm Not As Stupid As Thing 1...
2007-06-29 - Monkey
2007-06-29 - I Remember When I Remember I Remember When I Lost My Mind...
2007-06-28 - And I Have A Headache. LIKE LIFE ISN'T BAD ENOUGH!
2007-06-27 - Love. Hang Ten. California.
2007-06-27 - Buzz Buzz
2007-06-26 - I Do Not Condone Any Of The Things I Discuss Doing In This Entry
2007-06-25 - And I Referred To His Vehicle As A \"Pussy Wagon\", Which Is Always In Good Taste
2007-06-24 - Nutty McShitville Greatest City In The World. All Other Cities Are Run By Little Girls. Nutty McShitville Number One Exporter Of Potassium. Other Cities Have Inferior Potassium.
2007-06-20 - And This Is What An Evening Nap Does To Me
2007-06-19 - Luckily I Bought More Cheese Today, Since Cheese Makes Life Slightly Better
2007-06-18 - If I Had A Point To Begin With, That Is...
2007-06-17 - I Don't Approve Of This Whole Margarita Business...
2007-06-15 - Feelin' Kinda Depressed...
2007-06-15 - So Everyone Is In Agreement That Emu's Life Has Gone To Hell, Right?
2007-06-14 - I Still Love How My Mom Hated My Dad When She First Met Him
2007-06-13 - Okay, Now Things Are Just Getting Disturbing...
2007-06-13 - I'll Be A Vegan Later...
2007-06-11 - The Only Thing That Matters Is The Size Of His Paycheque...
2007-06-10 - I Need A Shower To Wash Away My Sins...
2007-06-10 - I Just DON'T KNOW
2007-06-09 - I See You Baby... Shakin' That Ass... Shakin' That Ass... Shakin' That Ass...
2007-06-07 - There Is Something Exciting About Leaving Everything Behind...
2007-06-06 - Cheese Please!
2007-06-05 - The Yarn Princess... More Like The YAWN Princess. Ha, I Just Made A Funny.
2007-06-04 - So, No One Was Arrested Today...
2007-06-03 - If You Knew Workplace Drama Like I Know Workplace Drama...
2007-06-02 - Emu, For Once, Has Remembered A Guy's Name
2007-06-01 - I'm Alive!!!
2007-05-31 - Sooooooo Coooooooooool
2007-05-30 - I Almost Literally Spent More Time Getting Ready Than I Spent Actually At Work
2007-05-30 - I'm A Little Hung Up On This Guy, Can You Tell?
2007-05-29 - Maybe I'm Not So Alone...
2007-05-28 - I Want To Make Whoopee With My New Phone
2007-05-27 - Who Fucked Who And Who Wants To Fuck Who And Who Isn't Going To Fuck Who...
2007-05-26 - Emu Is Sad
2007-05-26 - And There Goes My Record Of Going A Good 3 Weeks Or So Without Crying...
2007-05-23 - Awwwwwwww Yeah!
2007-05-22 - They Were Rolaids Soft Chews, By The Way...
2007-05-22 - Just A Spoon Full Of Sugar Helps The Alcohol Go Down...
2007-05-20 - And I Have 'Master Of Puppets' Stuck In My Head...
2007-05-20 - Oh, And The Acting And Storyline... Superb
2007-05-18 - I've Consumed 70,000 Calories Today
2007-05-17 - Scratch Scratch Scratch
2007-05-16 - I'm Not Crazy, But I Do A Damn Fine Impression Of It
2007-05-15 - I'm Dyyyyyyyyyyyyyying!
2007-05-14 - Yoohooooooo!
2007-05-13 - Maybe I'll Be Next...
2007-05-12 - Yawn
2007-05-11 - This Is What An Hour And Three Minutes Gets Ya
2007-05-10 - Can We Just Go Back To Holding Hands For A While?
2007-05-09 - Me Likey, Me Hatey
2007-05-08 - Don't Bother Reading This
2007-05-07 - All We Are Is Cheese On The Carpet
2007-05-06 - Enjoy My Camera And The Bad Karma
2007-05-06 - Emu Is Interventioning Herself
2007-05-05 - I'm A Funny Drunk. I Crack Myself Up.
2007-05-05 - DRUNK
2007-05-03 - I Think I Need Some Cheese Fries
2007-05-02 - And There's Other Things I Don't Appreciate Either...
2007-05-01 - And The Blue Would Really Bring Out Your Beautiful Eyes
2007-04-30 - I Need A Dishwasher
2007-04-29 - HAHAHAHAHA! I Laugh At My Pain!
2007-04-29 - Not Making A Hell Of A Lot Of Sense At 1AM
2007-04-28 - Forever Young. FOREVER YOUNNNNNNNG!
2007-04-27 - Enjoy My Musical Interlude
2007-04-26 - LiveJournal? Blogspot?
2007-04-24 - Yeah, Well... Fuck You
2007-04-23 - This Is Why Emu Is Usually Very Rarely Involved In Anything That Resembles A Relationship
2007-04-22 - Die, Diaryland, Die!
2007-04-21 - Act Now And We'll DOUBLE The Amount!
2007-04-20 - He's Got A Lip Ring And He Knows How To Use It
2007-04-19 - If You're Reading This, I Actually Got My Shit Together Long Enough To Click That \"Done!\" Button
2007-04-18 - And My Eyes Are Burning
2007-04-17 - Why Is Cheese So Cheesy? Why Is Dirt So Dirty?
2007-04-16 - Smitten
2007-04-15 - I'm A Bad Ass. Can't You Tell From My Hair?
2007-04-11 - Is It Hot In Here Or Is My Shirt On Fire?
2007-04-09 - Yep Yep Yep Yep Yep
2007-04-08 - My Keyboard Has Stopped Moving, Thank God
2007-04-08 - Oh, And Happy Easter I Guess. AND FUCKING PINKY KEEPS HITTING THE FUCKING CAPS LOCK KEY... So Drunk
2007-04-06 - Putting Thing 2 And Her Boyfriend On My Shitlist As We Speak...
2007-04-05 - Bus Drivers Have A Pretty Sweet Deal
2007-04-04 - Like I Really Need This Hanging Over My Head...
2007-04-03 - Would You Stay And Drown In Me?
2007-04-02 - Yes, We Have No Bananas...
2007-04-01 - But Yay For Lesbian Superfriends, Right?
2007-03-31 - Did I Need To Buy All Those Chocolate Bars? Yes.
2007-03-29 - Other Countries Have Inferior Potassium
2007-03-28 - Sunflower Seeds Are Kind Of A Pain In The Ass To Eat
2007-03-27 - Hey, I Think My Battery Is Dy...
2007-03-26 - She's Got Electric Boots... A Mohair Suit... Something About A Pack Of Hyenas...
2007-03-24 - I Can't Think Of A Title. You Expect Too Much From Me!
2007-03-23 - I Guess It Pays To Be A Sore Loser?
2007-03-22 - Confused. Bewildered. And A Little Burned.
2007-03-21 - You Suck
2007-03-20 - Team Emu!
2007-03-19 - But I'm Out Of My Head When You're Not Around...
2007-03-18 - Definitely Not Dedicated To Anything
2007-03-17 - Top O' The Evening To Ya
2007-03-16 - Alpacas Are Pretty Cool, Though
2007-03-15 - Please Don't Kill Me
2007-03-14 - Emu Needs A New Pair Of Shoes! Literally.
2007-03-13 - You're The Birthday, You're The Birthday, You're The Birthday Boy Or Girl!
2007-03-12 - My Parent's Internet Is Kinda Slow...
2007-03-10 - And The Birthday Celebrations Begin!
2007-03-09 - money Money MOney MONey MONEy MONEY!
2007-03-08 - Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Rum
2007-03-07 - Groceries Are Heavy
2007-03-06 - An Experiment
2007-03-06 - Do You Like Food? Cuz I Like Food.
2007-03-04 - Multiple Snickers Chocolate Bars In One Day. It Does A Body Good.
2007-03-03 - Eighthly, Ninthly, Tenthly...
2007-03-01 - I Need Large Quantities Of Alcohol
2007-02-28 - Chocolate? Yes!
2007-02-27 - What Do You Know, Joe?
2007-02-26 - Saaaaaaaaaaaalute!
2007-02-23 - Life Is Like A Gravel Road: Never Straight And Always Stoned
2007-02-21 - Emu Has Gone Crazy. And She Doesn't Need A Pap Test.
2007-02-20 - Old Moon On Tuesday
2007-02-19 - � <--- Ha
2007-02-18 - Everything Tastes Better When It's Shaped Like A Square
2007-02-16 - Clothes From The Store I Work At Will Be Made FAMOUS On The Local News. Heh.
2007-02-15 - Pretty Sure I'm The Only Person In Cracktown Who Doesn't Smoke Pot
2007-02-14 - Take A Deep Breath And Slowly Count To A Bajillion
2007-02-13 - We Don't Need No Water, Let The Motherfucker Burn...
2007-02-12 - I'm A Wannabe A Lot Of Things...
2007-02-11 - It's True (?)
2007-02-10 - I'm A Loser, You're A Loser, We're All LOSERS
2007-02-09 - I. Hate. You.
2007-02-08 - See How Dark And Unhealthy This Job Is Making Me?
2007-02-07 - I Didn't Fuck It Up! Yippee!
2007-02-06 - Cookie Monster
2007-02-05 - Cream Of Wheat Doesn't Have Any Taste, But I Like It
2007-02-04 - That Really Steams My Clams
2007-02-03 - TV Respects Me
2007-02-02 - Have I Mentioned That I'm 100 Years Old?
2007-02-01 - Yeah. Fuck This.
2007-01-31 - And You Can Kiss Any Possible Good References Good-Bye
2007-01-30 - Take This Job And... Well, You Know The Rest
2007-01-29 - Bad In A Good Way
2007-01-28 - Bringin' Back The Man Pretty
2007-01-27 - I'll Be So Awesome In My \"Stuff By Hilary Duff\" Shirt
2007-01-26 - Everything Is Pissing Me Off. Even You. Not That I Know You're Here...
2007-01-25 - I'm Sad, Dammit
2007-01-24 - When The Wind Blows The Cradle Will Rock
2007-01-23 - Brain Is Mush Already
2007-01-22 - Give Me A Tea, You Bastard
2007-01-21 - Back In Cold Lonely Miserable Cracktown
2007-01-17 - Employee Of The Month
2007-01-16 - Oooooh, Gooey!
2007-01-15 - Emu Hates The Snow
2007-01-14 - And I Lose It Completely, Yet Again
2007-01-13 - But If I Can't Swim After 40 Days And My Mind Is Crushed By The Crashing Waves...
2007-01-12 - I Like My New Toy
2007-01-11 - Me Thinks Me Likey The Champagne...
2007-01-10 - I'll Never Be A Housewife...
2007-01-09 - Emulicious Definition: Make The Boys Go Loco
2007-01-08 - One Way Ticket To Crazytown!
2007-01-06 - You'll Know When I Have A Serious Problem, Let Me Tell Ya...
2007-01-05 - Heroin! Speed! Hashish! Horse Tranquilizers?
2007-01-03 - For Christ's Sake, Won't Somebody Help Me Here?
2007-01-02 - Scaring People Pretty Much Gets My Vote For The Funniest Thing Ever
2007-01-01 - 2007 Is Off To An Interesting Start...
2009
2008
2007
2006