So... yeah. Today was alright. Good Big City times and all that. Except I feel absolutely miserable right now, I never want to leave my apartment ever again, and I'm thoroughly sick of all people. And I feel unloved.

After we landed in the Big City I decided to text message Squinty... I mean, I didn't really want to see him, we didn't have time to see him, but I figured since I already told him I was coming I'd at least send him a "Hey, what's up? I'm in your neck of the woods right now." message. And his reply: "What exactly are you doing here?" Now, okay, things written in text messages are often interpretted much differently than their sender intended but... I dunno, I thought that sounded kinda harsh. But then he was also like "You got big plans for this weekend?" and when I replied back "No, not really... you still thinking of coming to [Cracktown]?" he sent back this long message about waiting for a Record Of Employment and having to go to the EI office before going anywhere and... I interpretted that as he got laid off and he's not coming this weekend.

Texty is freaking me out, Two Night Stand Guy has apparently started sending dirty text messages to Thing 1, and Guy never answered back when I asked him if he told Thing 2 about us. So... I hate all men. ALL MEN.

I don't want to go to Angry Girl's party tomorrow night. I mean first of all, yeah, Thing 2 is going to be there. Not fun. And, uh... yeah, I just don't want to go. But I will. Because I promised Angry Girl I would. But... not looking forward to it.

Oh! I got a phone call today while I was in the Big City... almost didn't answer it but then I did and... I have a job interview on Tuesday. Tasty. Office job downtown... hopefully it has more normal hours. We'll see how the interview goes. I'm not totally sure where this place is, so I'm gonna take a run by there on Monday to check it out.

I'm really quite upset at the world right now, though. Quite thoroughly upset. I couldn't even really tell you why. Well... I'm upset at those four guys being complete pricks. I'm upset at the fact that I've gotten to the point where I've found myself at least semi-involved with four guys. I'm upset at how much money I spent today, primarily on booze. I'm upset that I keep drinking despite the fact that I really shouldn't be drinking while on this medication because it defeats the purpose. I freakin' HATE how I feel about myself when I'm around Thing 1... if hanging out with her isn't an incredible blow to the old self esteem, I just don't know what is. And, um... what else? Today was just really long. I had fun but at the same time, I wish I hadn't gone. I wish I could have just spent all day in bed. I need to heal myself now.