First of all... Capital City Guy. "Um... you're in a relationship now?" He was hurt. And... goddamn. But we're still gonna meet up on Monday, most likely, when he's in town. I don't know what's going to happen. But he said a lot of things today that made me very very upset. Made me feel really bad about everything. The guy likes me a lot. I haven't been fair to him. And honestly... I like him a lot too.

And the fact that I do have feelings for Capital City Guy makes things not fair for 345 Guy either. And it's all... daaaaamn. I feel like I've gotten myself into an awkward situation and I just don't know what to do. I'm very torn. And I've found myself pretty much lying to both these guys, downplaying my relationship with the other one to each of them. I don't think I'm handling this very well. But I don't know what to do, I've never been in this situation before.

And, um... I'm going to Nutty McShitville tomorrow and I'm going to talk to some people at my mom's work... there's a full-time position that they're apparently interested in giving me, after my mom told them my work background. So... holy crap. And, like, if they want me... I'd be moving there FAST. Like, before the end of the year. And, like, I'd end up paying rent for this place and not living here but my mom said... you gotta do what you gotta do. And I can't even get a full time job in Cracktown, and Nutty McShitville is even worse so the chance at such a thing there... I'm gonna jump at it. Clearly.

Work today was okay. It was pay day. 170 bucks... woo hoo! I can retire now, boy! Ugh.

I'm talking to both Capital City Guy and 345 Guy on MSN right now... seriously, they make me cry. Both of them. Oh, it's hard.

Anyways... I gotta get up early tomorrow for the bus. That sucks. But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Oh well.