So I'm hoping that maybe I'll feel human enough tomorrow to actually try to accomplish something. Hopefully I'll at least be able to find enough strength to light a fire under my ass that will motivate me to get up. And, oh... I dunno.... find a job before all my money is gone.
I think I've decided that I'm not going to move to Nutty McShitville. At least not as soon as I originally planned. Like... I originally thought end of November. Now I'm thinking... end of January. I've been thinking about some of the things I'd have to give up if I moved back home. But I dunno. I'm likely to change my mind 17,000 more times. I'm thinking, though, definitely if I don't have a job by the end of this month... I'll be handing in my last rent cheque along with my notice, and I'd be starting packing.
I'm such a fuck up. Seriously. I am shittin' myself if I ever think I'm not doomed to a life of bouncing back and forth between retail and call centres. And, hey, Cracktown is the friggin' town to be in for that, because it has an abundance of jobs in both those fields. If I wanted to go to the Good Mall right now, almost guaranteed the first store I walked into would give me a job. However, the Good Mall fills me with such DREAD, I can't even begin to tell you. I was there yesterday, simply because that is where they decided to put Wal-Mart, and... I just couldn't stand it. I had to get out of there. I know too many people there, I've spent too much time there, and there's so many stores that I feel like I can't even walk by, let alone go into... I just can't be there.
So I'm thinking that maybe if I'm successful in lighting that fire tomorrow, I might hit up the Semi-Good Mall with resumes in hand. I SWORE I WOULDN'T WORK ANOTHER CHRISTMAS IN RETAIL HELL. But I'm constantly lying to myself and others, so whateva. The only bad thing about the Semi-Good Mall... no food court. It's insanity. Oh, and also they don't seem to be as mad hiring as the Good Mall is. I did actually find the motivation to call up a couple stores there today to ask if they were looking for anyone, and both were like "Um... well, not really... but you can drop off a resume..." Yeah, well, I could drop off a resume at NASA too, but if it's not going to get me anywhere I'd rather save the ink and paper and just not bother.
I updated my status on Facebook to reflect how I feel like my life has become a failure and, right on cue, Four Night Stand Guy texts me to tell me that's not true. He's funny.
And on the OKCupid front... hey, it stopped saying I was Republican. So that's good. And, um... a 31 year old guy from near here wants to take me out for a drink, I said I'd get back to him on whether or not I was up to that. And a 30 year old guy from the States and I have been talking a lot. Oh, and a 23 year old guy from the States too, but that's not nearly as interesting. So, yeah, that's what I've been doing when I haven't been passed out. But mostly I've just been passed out all day.
Now I must attempt to do some dishes.