I've felt like hell today in just so many ways. I pretty much only got 2 or 3 hours sleep this morning... fuckin' Angry Girl called me at 8:00 and I was so angry. She called me because Thing 1 wasn't answering her phone... like I could somehow do something about that. Ugh, the pain. But I kinda had to get up around that time anyway, though, to try to pull myself together enough for my parents' visit.

I just wasn't feelin' it today, though. Like, when my parents were here my mom just kept talking to me about stuff and I was just like "I don't want to listen to her. I don't want to say anything to her." And I'm just flat out not like that. I barely see my mom anymore, and when I do I just wanna hang out with her and chat but today... yeah. Not feelin' it.

And I just feel soooo goddamn depresssssssed. Because, yeah, I definitely had a breakdown last night. And it's like I'm beginning to realize what my problem is. And I'm beginning to realize I can't do a damn thing about it. I'm so damn simple but yet I'm so damn complicated and... I dunno. This makes no sense.

And I can't believe I tried to convince Thing 1 to get with me. New low. Like... honestly, I don't even like her in that way.

But man, some of the stuff we talked about... We are both some seriously fucked up people with some serious emotional baggage.

I dunno. I've had a couple people now ask me if I want to go out tonight, but... I'm just so tired and depressed and I really need to just go to bed and be alone and cry for a while before I eventually pass out and silently hope that maybe I won't wake up.

Well, shit, I actually need a shower first. Feel how crusty my hair is! It's crusty. Damn that hairspray. Okay, so... showering, crying, sleep. My evening is planned.