And back to work tomorrow... 2:30 to 10, I do believe that gets my vote as, like, the shittiest shift ever. And I don't want to go back there. Ever. I mean, like... I liiiike this job. I have issues with my supervisor still, but I like this job. HOWEVER the dread... it's not going away.
Interestingness with 345 Guy continues... last night in all seriousness he actually said that he still wanted me to come visit him and he'd pay for the whole thing... however, instead of us sight-seeing and being all couple-y like we were originally planning, it would be kind of a wham, bam, thank you ma'am, I'm on the first flight the next morning out of there kind of thing. That has fantastic written all over it, doesn't it? Clearly, I said no. I mean... I'd love to go out and visit him, I still like him, and I'd love to be able to go to that part of the country... but if he seriously just wants to fly me out there for sex... no way. That's not how I roll...
...anymore.
Speaking of guys just interested in sex... guess who dragged his cyber carcass onto MSN earlier this evening? Squinty. "It's too bad you're not here right now... I wish I could see you." This doesn't help the fact that he still routinely drifts into my thoughts and I really want to be with him again, despite my better judgment. 9 and a half out of 10 people think he was an ass to me. But then no one was there but us that one night where we were lying in bed and he just held me while I talked about everything that was bothering me and he told me how fantastic I was and how I don't deserve to feel as bad about myself as I often do... I'm never gonna forget that for all my life. It was, like, the greatest moment ever. And I still liiiike the guy. Despite everything. Despite that weekend I spent with him and his roommate where I seriously wanted to kill them both, and was a miserable bitch most of the time I was there. And that last time I saw him in September where he just showed up out of the blue, we fooled around, he stole my map (I still miss that goddamn map), and never called me again like he said he would. I STILL LIKE HIM AFTER ALL THIS! Even though I have Capital City Guy who is the sweetest man on the planet, has treated me so well, and was better in bed as well... I still want Squinty so so so so so bad.
I hate myself.
So... I dunno I dunno I dunno. I wanna stay up late tonight so that I'm less likely to fall asleep tomorrow night at work. Gah, this time tomorrow night I'll STILL BE THERE! Kill me. And, like... I guess I'll find out on Wednesday when the schedule is posted if I'm working Christmas Eve or Boxing Day. If it's both, I'll quit. Just FYI. But no, it shouldn't be both... it should be one or the other. And, like... given a choice, I'd choose Christmas Eve. But I have a horrible horrible HORRIBLE feeling it's gonna be Boxing Day. And I will die, by the way. And it will be a painful death.
And on that optimistic note, I'm outta here.