So my doctor's appointment was hardly worth me carting my ass downtown. I told him how the drugs are making me tired and groggy to the point that 90% of the time I could be classified as being mentally retarded, and he was just like "Oh yeah... that can take up to 3 months to wear off." What?!? Seriously, the first time I was on these drugs, the majority of it wore off in about a week. I don't think I could take 2 more months of feeling this exhausted.

Oh, and then I asked about birth control, and he talked to me about all the different options, their pros and cons, how long I could expect to wait after going off them before I'd be able to concieve... definitely the pill sounds like the best choice, injections and implant devices and all that are just too scary. But then he's like "Oh, but I'd need you to get a complete physical with a pap test done before I'd prescribe them to you." It's an excellent idea, granted, but at the same time... it should be a choice. So he recommended that I make an appointment to get that done on my way out but... I just couldn't do it. Doctors scare me SO MUCH. Someday, though, I'll rack up the courage to go in and get it done. I know I'll feel better about myself afterwards. It's just thinking about it that freaks me out.

Oh, but hey... not pregnant! However, I did have cramps bad enough that I had to sit in the bath for an hour this afternoon, moaning and wailing. Could have done without that.

I am TIRED. I napped all through The Daily Show and Colbert Report this afternooon, as well as much of the news. And I feel like I could definitely go to bed right now and it would be all good.

I am so goddamn torn about whether or not to move back to Nutty McShitville... I flipflop on almost an hourly basis. I mean... it would be a fantastic idea, moneywise. Even when I end up getting my own place there (because there's no way I'm living with the parentals on any kind of permanent basis again), I'd most likely be paying less in rent. I wouldn't have to buy a bus pass, because I could just ride my bike everywhere. I probably wouldn't be spending as much money on alcohol and the like because, especially at first, I won't have anyone to drink with. I'd probably save a lot on food, because my parents would insist on feeding me on a semi-regular basis. And besides, Cracktown really holds nothing for me anymore... my best friend is moving away, and I'm just working the kind of jobs for the kind of pay that I could get in Nutty McShitville. All I ever seem to do is get myself in trouble here. I like this city, I like the area I'm in, I've met some great people, but... it's not worth it anymore.

But at the same time I know that if I moved back, I'd be all like "Oh god, what have I done?!?!" So... yeah. It's harsh.