2006-12-30 - I Have A Great Attitude, As Always
2006-12-29 - Are You Tired Of All This Quitting Talk Yet?
2006-12-28 - Oooooooooooooh, Shiny!
2006-12-27 - Fantastic Christmas, Followed By Soul Crushing Misery
2006-12-23 - Ridiculous All Over The Goddamn Place
2006-12-22 - Welcome To Poorville. Population: Me.
2006-12-21 - It's Like 2006 Was All Just A Big Mistake
2006-12-20 - Yeah, I'll Have A Mocha Chocolate Vanilla Caramel Chai Latte With Soy Milk And Gold Dust Sprinkled On It
2006-12-19 - Save Me Jebus!
2006-12-18 - Where Are The Long Skinny Ones When You Need Them?
2006-12-17 - I Kind Of Have That Sylvia Plath Thing Going On Too, Don't You Think?
2006-12-16 - Don't I Look So Cool With My Name Tag?
2006-12-15 - Disappointed But Not Surprised. It's Become My Motto.
2006-12-14 - Cheer Up Emu Kid!
2006-12-13 - I Have A Futon, By The Way...
2006-12-12 - A Sign I Should Cut Back On The KD?
2006-12-11 - But I'm Still Getting My Kicks Where I Can
2006-12-10 - I Think It Says That In The Bible Somewhere...
2006-12-09 - Like A Drifter I Was Born To Walk Alone
2006-12-08 - Personally, I Far Prefer Almonds...
2006-12-07 - Let's Just See How This Goes...
2006-12-06 - I Have My Reasons, As You Know
2006-12-05 - It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like People Are Losing Their Fucking Minds
2006-12-03 - Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee!
2006-12-01 - It's Like There's Rock Bottom, Then 50 Feet Of Crap, Then Me
2006-11-30 - Have I Mentioned That I'm Dying Slowly?
2006-11-29 - Happy Mental Health Day!
2006-11-27 - Oh, The Weather Outside Is Frightful...
2006-11-25 - Riding The Bus In A Winter Wonderland
2006-11-24 - And You Think I Somehow Have What It Takes Because...?
2006-11-23 - Happy Anniversary! Now Pay Up, Sucka!
2006-11-22 - Now I'm Thirsty
2006-11-21 - Notice How I'm The Christmas Music Critic Now?
2006-11-20 - Baaaaaaaaaaaaaby Please Come Home!
2006-11-19 - Do I Have To Remind You People That This Is 2006 And An Urban Area?
2006-11-15 - Hitchhiking Might Be A Better Option...
2006-11-14 - Luckily I Still Realize That Things Will Eventually Get Better
2006-11-13 - This Makes Me Sad
2006-11-12 - And I Love How The Same Things Go Wrong Multiple Times
2006-11-10 - My Lungs Hurt
2006-11-09 - 403604780250
2006-11-08 - Oh, She's Complaining About The Buses Again...
2006-11-07 - I Hope This Is My Last Year Having To Do This Kind Of Work
2006-11-06 - And That Frees Up My Wrist For Non-Watch Items
2006-11-05 - It's A Party Over Here!
2006-11-03 - And I Noticed That The Glasses Were Being Worn All Week
2006-11-03 - Stupid Rain! I Wish You Had Never Been Born!
2006-11-02 - Um... Uh... Hmm...
2006-11-01 - I Challenge You To A Duel!
2006-10-30 - Is It November Yet?
2006-10-30 - Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
2006-10-28 - And That's Only Amusing If You Know Who Peter Mansbridge Is
2006-10-27 - And I Love My New Foam Microphone
2006-10-26 - Have I Mentioned The Pain?
2006-10-25 - I'm Rachael Goddamn Ray
2006-10-24 - Fox Isn't A Basic Channel? What The Hell?!
2006-10-23 - Wherever I May Roam
2006-10-22 - Lazy Sunday
2006-10-21 - International Me Day
2006-10-21 - Google Hits
2006-10-19 - Trying To Think Of A Witty Title But It Just Ain't Coming
2006-10-18 - It's Cold In Here
2006-10-17 - Where There's Steam, There's No Fire
2006-10-16 - Coffee, Tea, Or Pacino?
2006-10-15 - Ooooh, Dark
2006-10-12 - Because Toilets Are NOT Optional
2006-10-11 - She's My Man And We Got All The Balls We Need
2006-10-10 - I'm Amazed That Natural Selection Hasn't Wiped Me Out Yet
2006-10-09 - What A Sad Thanksgiving
2006-10-08 - And I Need To Go Cry Now
2006-10-07 - Oh My God, What Have I Done?!?
2006-10-06 - Please Pray For My Computer
2006-10-05 - I Can Nap At Work
2006-10-04 - My Life Starts Later
2006-10-03 - The Eyes Have It
2006-10-02 - I Want My Mommy
2006-10-01 - In Today's World, Popeye Would Get E.Coli
2006-09-30 - There's A Kangaroo On My Balcony
2006-09-29 - Anyone Want A Room Mate?
2006-09-27 - I Don't Feel Like Dancin' Makes Me Feel Like Dancin'
2006-09-26 - Emus For Knee Pain Research
2006-09-25 - My Meal Replacement Shake Is Lactose-Free
2006-09-24 - I Just Don't Even Know Anymore
2006-09-23 - Old Job: More Bullshit, But Happier Knees And Bank Account
2006-09-22 - Another Day, Another Dollar
2006-09-21 - My Knees Hurt A Lot
2006-09-19 - Still Long, But Slightly Less Depression-Filled
2006-09-16 - Ha. I like To Laugh At Other People.
2006-09-16 - But At Least Yesterday No One Saw Me Cry
2006-09-15 - I'm Looking Forward To Dying Real Soon
2006-09-14 - You're Listening To The Emu: All Hits, All The Time!
2006-09-13 - My Eyeball Feels Like It's Going To Explode
2006-09-12 - But Yet All The Times I've Been Convinced I Would Die, I Haven't
2006-09-11 - The Things We Do For Love... Of Money
2006-09-10 - Why Am I Not Letting Creepy Middle Aged Men Buy Me Drinks Right Now?
2006-09-08 - Causing The Self Destruction Of My Parents Since March 2006
2006-09-08 - I've Got Trouble Trouble Trouble Always Knocking At My Door
2006-09-07 - I'm Young And Stupid, Remember?
2006-09-06 - I Also Burnt Myself On The George Foreman Grill, For Added Fun
2006-09-05 - Don't Make Me Shove My Size 8 Up Yo' Narrow Ass
2006-09-04 - If I Never Write Again It's Because I Died On My Way Home
2006-09-03 - I Am The World's Biggest Loser. Hands Down. I AM QUEEN!
2006-09-02 - Transportation Frustration
2006-09-01 - Oh, The Road Trips. Oh, The Constant Break Downs. Oh, The Memories.
2006-08-31 - Hahahaha. Plumcot.
2006-08-30 - The Camera Steals Your Soul!
2006-08-29 - THANK YOU SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE YOURSELF A GREAT DAY!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-28 - Maybe This Time!
2006-08-26 - You Don't Know The History Of Kraft Dinner. I Do.
2006-08-25 - E.H. Loves P.T.
2006-08-24 - Way To Redeem Yourself
2006-08-23 - Just Got Feet, Don't Got Shoes
2006-08-22 - Why Is This My Calling? Why?!
2006-08-21 - Nothin' Says Lovin' Like Pop Tarts In The Freezer
2006-08-20 - I Need To Stop Hanging Out With That Thing
2006-08-19 - 69 Is A Good Number
2006-08-18 - Noooo! Don't Force Me To Eat Pizza! That's So Cruel!
2006-08-17 - I Leave For A Couple Days And This Is The Result?
2006-08-14 - DUOTANG!
2006-08-12 - Maybe Next Time...
2006-08-11 - I'm Bringing Crazy Back
2006-08-11 - A Whole New Level Of \"What The Fuck Am I Doing?!\"
2006-08-10 - Don't Do What Emu Does
2006-08-09 - Uh
2006-08-08 - Yay For Settling For Less
2006-08-08 - Holla!
2006-08-06 - Unique Means Weird
2006-08-05 - Name That Tuna
2006-08-03 - I Need A Hug
2006-08-02 - Calm And Neutral... Unlike That German Kid
2006-08-01 - Did I Say Anything?
2006-07-31 - More Proof That I Will Die Soon
2006-07-29 - Can You Smell That?
2006-07-28 - A Musical Interlude
2006-07-28 - Because It's The Little Things That Either Kill You Or Keep You Going
2006-07-27 - Do You Use Pen Or A Hammer And Chisel To Write?
2006-07-26 - It's All In My Head. I Know It Is.
2006-07-25 - Down Again From My 6 AM High
2006-07-23 - Can You Feel My Disgust?
2006-07-22 - Not To Mention The Fact That The Girl Is Only 18 But Somehow Manages To Get Into Bars...
2006-07-21 - Hot Enough To Make People Cranky
2006-07-20 - What Good Is All The Fame If You Ain't Fucking The Models?
2006-07-19 - Bonjour! Au Revoir!
2006-07-18 - I've Always Hated Clowns
2006-07-16 - I'll Make You A Believer
2006-07-16 - Within Reason, I Will Honour Any Amusing Request
2006-07-14 - Words Of Wisdom
2006-07-13 - All Emu, All The Time
2006-07-12 - My, What A Big Microphone You Have
2006-07-11 - Now Up To 10 Potential Employers Can Leave Me Voice Mail Messages
2006-07-10 - I'm So Happy That I Can't Stop Crying
2006-07-09 - Yay! Break Downs Are Fun!
2006-07-08 - Dear God: I Can Take A Hint. Please Stop Now.
2006-07-07 - If Your World Is All Screwed Up, Rearrange It
2006-07-04 - Fully Realizing That I'll Still Probably Work There Forever
2006-07-03 - Sometimes It Seems Like My Life Is Nothing But Irony
2006-07-02 - But The Useless Miami Vice Trivia Makes It So Worth It
2006-07-01 - I Can't Retire On Just Two Bucks
2006-06-30 - Bored To Death On A Friday Morning
2006-06-29 - I'm A Bouncer At The BK Lounge
2006-06-28 - Keep Your Friends Close, But Your SIN/SSN Card Closer.
2006-06-27 - What About All The Things I Purposely Do Wrong?
2006-06-26 - Empathy? What?
2006-06-25 - Cuz You Gotta Have Faith
2006-06-24 - Saturday Is The Not-So-New Monday
2006-06-23 - Degu Come And Me Wanna Go Home
2006-06-22 - (666) 666-6666
2006-06-21 - Sign Me Up For Some Undertime
2006-06-20 - Lying About Laying Down. Laying About Lying Down.
2006-06-19 - Like Mensa. Except Less Smart.
2006-06-18 - Excuses, Excuses!
2006-06-17 - Chocolate With A Side Of Chocolate
2006-06-16 - And I Look So Cool With My Little Bike Helmet On
2006-06-15 - 7 Pictures Are Worth 7,000 Words
2006-06-14 - Have A Problem That Doesn't Exist?
2006-06-13 - Are You Thoroughly Sick Of Me Complaining About Work Yet?
2006-06-12 - Is It You?
2006-06-11 - Change Is Not Good
2006-06-10 - Hell + Handbasket
2006-06-09 - Will You Be My New Mommy?
2006-06-08 - 10 For The Price Of 9! What A Bargain!
2006-06-07 - Damn You Google!
2006-06-06 - Happy 666 Day!
2006-06-05 - There's A Lot Of Gladness Going On
2006-06-04 - How Very Homosexual Of You
2006-06-02 - Not Dead. Still Trying.
2006-05-29 - I'm Sure I Missed Some Hospital Horror Story Or A Ship Full Of Drugs
2006-05-28 - Don't You Be Sayin' I Forgot The Frosted Flakes!
2006-05-27 - I Am Human And I Need To Be Loved, Just Like Everybody Else Does
2006-05-26 - I Always Was Sensible. I Just Didn't Always Show It.
2006-05-25 - You Media People Just Love Me, Don't You?
2006-05-24 - Have I Lost My Touch?
2006-05-23 - Up Down Up Down Up Down Up Down
2006-05-22 - Birds Are Dying!
2006-05-21 - I'm Still Better Than Her
2006-05-20 - 50 Bucks To Whoever Can Accurately Predict What I'll Nickname My New Supervisor
2006-05-19 - Can You Tell That I'm Pissed?
2006-05-18 - Famous Last Words
2006-05-17 - Not All Doom And Gloom
2006-05-16 - Because It's Fun To Judge Other People While Conveniently Forgetting The Questionable Things I've Done
2006-05-15 - It's The Fear That Keeps Me Alive
2006-05-14 - Isn't It Weird?
2006-05-13 - And May My Death Come Quickly
2006-05-12 - What Goes Up Must Come Down
2006-05-11 - Are You A Good Witch Or A Bad Witch?
2006-05-10 - Oh, Cracktown. Land Of So Many Things.
2006-05-09 - And Hey, Did I Mention...
2006-05-08 - My Name Is [Insert Symbol Here]
2006-05-07 - Prepare To Die
2006-05-06 - You Leave My Eyebrows Out Of This!
2006-05-05 - And You Know I Hate Chocolate
2006-05-04 - My Mommy Loves Me
2006-05-03 - Oh, These Childish Games Are Fun
2006-05-02 - Read This While You Can, It'll Probably Be Deleted Soon Out Of Embarassment
2006-05-01 - I'm Sad. And Pissed.
2006-04-30 - Straighten Up And Fly Right
2006-04-29 - I Need A Grilled Cheese Sandwich
2006-04-27 - Behind These Emu Eyes
2006-04-26 - TGIW!
2006-04-25 - Remember That I Already Told You I'm Not Crazy
2006-04-24 - I Don't Know How To Read!
2006-04-23 - Three Firsts, Man! Three!
2006-04-22 - Fear Of Life?
2006-04-21 - You Know The Semi-Good Mall, Right?
2006-04-20 - I Love Buying Foods I've Never Heard Of
2006-04-19 - Funny How One Problem Becomes A Different Problem
2006-04-18 - Guess Which Finger I'm Holding Up?
2006-04-17 - Look At Me, I Can Fly!
2006-04-16 - What Is This \"Easter\" You Speak Of?
2006-04-15 - Next Time: Duct Tape. And Lots Of It.
2006-04-14 - 8901,8901,8901...
2006-04-13 - My Pain Is Your Pain
2006-04-12 - What's With All The Stupid People?
2006-04-11 - The Object's Temperature Is Excessively Warm
2006-04-10 - My Leg Just Fell Asleep
2006-04-08 - Refusing To Go Soft
2006-04-08 - Oh No, Can It Be?
2006-04-06 - Sorry Charlie!
2006-04-05 - Oh, But In All Honesty, Most Of My Co-Workers Are Okay
2006-04-04 - Try Our Newest Scent: Chicken!
2006-04-03 - I Actually Function Better Without Sleep
2006-04-02 - Shock The Emu
2006-04-01 - Bar Hot!
2006-03-31 - Money Can't Buy Happiness, But It Can Buy Chocolate
2006-03-29 - Samantha Could Kick Jeannie's Ass Anyway
2006-03-28 - Disturbing, Much?
2006-03-26 - This Sounds A Little Bit More Like Me
2006-03-25 - I'm Sure Somehow That's My Fault
2006-03-23 - My Poor Finger
2006-03-21 - Me Have Job. Me Have No Opinion On Job.
2006-03-19 - I Know Me... And I Know You!
2006-03-18 - Only Slightly Exaggerating The Hill Situation
2006-03-17 - Mac & Cheese Attack!
2006-03-16 - Floods? Fires? Earthquakes? Bring It On!
2006-03-15 - Next Trip: Vegas!
2006-03-12 - Did I Mention That It's My Birthday Tomorrow?
2006-03-10 - Payback's A Bitch
2006-03-09 - Hey Man. How 'Bout Hookin' Me Up?
2006-03-08 - This Entry Was Made Possible By Readers Like You
2006-03-07 - Is It Hot In Here, Or Is It Just Me?
2006-03-06 - Smoosh!
2006-03-05 - In 5 Years The Corleone Family Will Be Completely Legitimate
2006-03-04 - So What Does It Mean When Your Teeth Start To Fall Out?
2006-03-03 - Settling In, I Think
2006-03-02 - I Really Don't Want To Pray To The Porcelean God Today
2006-03-01 - This Town Has A Weird Smell That You're Probably All Used To... But I'm Not
2006-02-28 - Oh, And Nazis Are Bad
2006-02-27 - My Cell Phone Number Is A Direct Line To God
2006-02-26 - Hide And Go Seek
2006-02-25 - What Is This White Stuff Falling From The Sky?
2006-02-24 - Can't Get Your Kids To Leave Home? Stop Cooking With Cheese!
2006-02-23 - Look, Ma! No Exaggerations!
2006-02-22 - Easy, Breezy, Beautiful Cover Girl
2006-02-21 - I'm In The Dark Here!
2006-02-20 - I Feel The Massive Heart Attack Coming On
2006-02-19 - That Deaf, Dumb, And Blind Kid Sure Plays A Mean Keno
2006-02-18 - I'm Free!
2006-02-17 - Diary Rings
2009
2008
2007
2006