Maybe If Shit Didn't Suck So Much Right Now, I Wouldn't Be So Goddamn Depressed

So I got the always encouraging "I think you should go back on anti-depressants and go to therapy" e-mail from my mother this morning. Out of the FRICKIN' BLUE. I mean... sure, when she saw me on Wednesday I was maybe a little basketcase-ish but... yesterday I was okay. I'm not totally pleased with how the new job is going but... yeah. I'm not saying that I wouldn't greatly benefit from the strongest dose of the strongest anti-depressant known to man but... no. Just no. Every time I've started up on anti-depressants I've gotten sicker than a dog and I can't afford that right now. At this stage, if I miss much if any work, I'll get fired.

And therapy? My biggest problem right now is that I feel like I have no time. So... yeah, man, I'll totally add yet one more thing into my life that I have to commit myself to. That won't send me over the edge at all.

I know it's just my mom caring about me, though. And I did e-mail her back explaining why I didn't think it was a good idea, but assuring her that I'd keep it in mind. And I'm sure that when she comes on MSN this evening, we'll have a "discussion".

I guess work was okay today. I guess. You know, and this is crazy... I miss actually doing stuff at work. Like, I'd rather shoot myself than ever return to my retail roots, but I like actually doing physical stuff at my job. I don't think I like just sitting there at a desk all day. I've had a desk job before and it didn't bother me, but I think because I've had a physical job for the past year I've gotten used to moving around and doing stuff all day and... yeah, being attached to a desk where the heaviest thing I move is a mouse is kinda bothering me.

And what's with all the little old ladies with snooty British accents? It annoys me. Accents are supposed to be charming, not snooty. And little old ladies are better seen and not heard.

I have 1 beer left. I will be having it this evening. I love how one beer will absolutely just knock me out. Two beers and I'm dancing on the ceiling, but if I stop after one... yeah, I just fall asleep. I will have to buy more beer tomorrow.

Oh, so I'm walking to work on Sunday, and walking both to and from work on Monday. I'm somewhat annoyed. And, like... I shouldn't be getting stat pay for the holiday because you have to have been employed somewhere for a month to get that, right? Christ. What a kick in the teeth.


2007-08-31 at 4:24 p.m.