Done judging me yet? Because I'm not. Ha. No, but you know... I know this is just because I'm pissed off and frustrated and depressed and this, for whatever reason, is just how I'm dealing with it this time... consuming massive amounts of alcohol, smoking pot, being reckless with money, and... well... being kinda slutty. This is how I'm dealing with it, because all of this makes me feel better... at least at the time. But now I'm all like "I had sex in an alley with a guy I just met... WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!?" And... yep.

I feel kind of dirty.

So I got a whopping 3 hours sleep and was fresh as a goddamn daisy for today... where I spent most of my shift pretty much passed out standing up. I actually had a couple customers remark "Rough night?" Ha. Aw man.

I sent Thing 1 a text message after work, because I had so much spare time at work today that I spent pretty much just thinking about last night, and I realized what an absolute pain in the ass I must have been. Just everything. Like when I abandoned her at that bar (well, okay, I didn't really abandon her, I told her I was leaving and where I was going) to go to another bar with that first guy, she ended up calling me 17,000 times pretty much and I never answered. Then, like, when we were leaving that guy's apartment, she was already outside and in the cab and I was still, for whatever goddamn reason, still up there with my third guy of the evening and, again, she kept calling me and calling me and I didn't answer. Also, I'm just obnoxious as fuck when I'm drunk. So, yeah, I texted her and apologised. But she was all like "It's all good, no worries." It couldn't have been all good, though, if someone I was with pulled that kind of shit on me, I would flip out.

Oh, and... I really cannot remember how I got with that second guy. Like... did the first guy ditch me or did I ditch him? And, yeah, I do not remember how I came to be with that second guy... I just remember things getting hot and heavy pretty damn fast. But, yeah, I can't remember if he was with the first guy or just some other random guy I bumped into at the bar. I DON'T KNOW! Oh god. I think I drink too much.

I mean... obviously, I drink too much. There's no "think" about it. I freakin' know.

I got a turkey wrap from the grocery store for supper on my way home from work and it wasn't until I got home that I noticed there was cranberry sauce in it. Ewwwwwwwwww. It was gross. Why, man? Who thought that the turkey/cranberry combination was a good idea? I was so disappointed. IT RUINED MY DAY! Even more than my complete lack of sleep and how there's huge chunks of last night that I don't remember, however I'm pretty sure they're going to come out in the worst possible way in a therapy session years from now...