Well... I was. That was until the higher power that keeps insisting on routinely punching me in the stomach, knocking me to the ground, then kicking me repeatedly while I'm down there, made a surprise appearance and did just that. Now I basically just want to curl up in a corner and DIE. Yeah, basically, not much more appeals to me than that right now.
Oh, the interview went fine, though. I would love to have that job. I feel decent about my chances, I'm a fair amount of qualified and I feel like I answered all of the manager's questions really well. We have the common bond that she used to live in my home town of St Hellbert, so we shot the shit about how freakin' suburban and overwhelmingly white it is. *sigh* But anyways, yeah, the interview went well. I would like this job very much please and thank you and kisses. But we'll see. We'll see.
No, it's just everything else that's making me feel shitty.
Um... sometimes I think I need to stop spending so much time on Facebook, because I just start looking at other people's profiles and sometimes I end up learning things I don't particularly want to know. Like, okay, you know Washington Boy? He basically stopped talking to me flatout, because he found a girlfriend. And I'm all like "Whatever." I mean, I LOVED talking to him, and I told him it was flat out ridiculous that he'd just stop talking to me because of that, because we had really good conversations and we could be friends. And he was like "Okay yeah, we can still talk sometimes." Not too much to ask, is it? Oh, and by the way I HATE these people who go from being desperately single to in a relationship just all like BOOM and stuff. Just like that. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME. But then again, have I ever actually been in a relationship? Well, no. Not to my knowledge, not in my opinion. I mean, a lot of people would have considered Bam and Squinty to have been my boyfriends but I really don't. But maybe I just have high standards and/or a bizarre idea of what a relationship really is.
ANYWAYS, lost my train of thought there. MY POINT WAS, I was looking on Facebook and... you know that girl from this area, the one who's also Facebook friends with Thing 2 and Guy, and the girl I noticed he added to Facebook around the same time as me? Yeah, um... apparently it's her. And apparently he came up here to meet her. WHATINTHEFLIPPINHELL?! WHY NOT ME?! This is seriously the closest my non-existant heart has felt to be being broken. I just think this is harrrrrrrrsh. That hurts, man. That actually really hurts me a lot. And why, why did he all of a sudden decide she was the better choice? I mean, a couple of days before he actually told me he wasn't sure about her. But what did I do? Is it because I answered a question about my sex life honestly when he asked me? Is honesty a bad thing now? I felt no need to lie to the guy. I felt like he was the kind of guy I could be straight up with. But apparently not.
DUUUUUUUDE, I should NOT let guys I haven't met in the flesh rip my heart out of my chest and stomp on it like this. There's enough guys I actually know who could do this.
I'm getting so angry at how the world works, how the biggest fuck ups, at least in my eyes, have successful lives and careers when I'm all just completely lost and at their mercy. I don't understand. Like... this interview this morning... sure, it went well but at the same time... I think this woman is a freakin' idiot. And come to think of it, I've never been interviewed for a job by someone who I considered to be an intelligent human being. Well, perhaps with the exception of my last year long retail job, I actually considered that manager to be really good at what she did. Until she went and got fired for internal theft 9 months later but, you know, it happens.
Oh, and how much am I starting to think that the Fireman might be married? Hmmm...