This guy text messaged me last night... he was just like "Hello there" and when I saw it this morning, I was like "Hello. And you are...?" So we've been text messaging eachother throughout the day... he says he just got the wrong number last night or whatever. He's 25, lives in Capital City... he sent me a picture, he looks decent. He says he's a carpenter. I'm almost impressed. Almost.
You know who's a goddamn sonuvabitch who's officially dead to me? Squinty. Oh yes. Well... dead for the moment, at least. Because if memory serves he was dead to me before as well, but he somehow got resurrected. But... he might be dead for good, now. I'm not happy with him.
So my mom and I ended up having the "discussion" that I predicted a few days ago, last night. "You know, I worry so much about you... You shouldn't drink, alcohol is a depressant... Depression runs on both sides of the family, and I'm sorry you got stuck with that... I want you to admit you have a problem..." And so on and so on. First of all, me admitting I have a problem with depression is something I did a good solid 5 years before she ever acknowledged it was true. When I was 11 and seriously seriously wanted to kill myself, was planning on killing myself, knew when and how I was going to do it... she just blamed my feelings of "sadness" on being "at that certain age" and it got to the point where I just didn't even want to try talking to her about it anymore, because those puberty talks she tried to give me were just beyond awkward. It wasn't until my shrink told her years later that I had plans to throw myself infront of a train that she finally realized I seriously had a problem. And the only reason why I was seeing a shrink in the first place was because my neurologist referred me to one, because he thought it was badly needed. And... yes. There's some lovely background information for you all there. Now you understand why I'm a basketcase.
So I've made it through 5 of 7 days now. I'm kind of impressed with myself. I thought I would have died by now. But there's still time, I guess. I shouldn't rule anything out at this moment.
Ha, the lady at the Orange Julius downtown already knows me and what I order, because I've gone there 3 days in a row now on my lunch break. I'm just crazy about those bacon cheese dogs, man.
Anyways, I need to have a shower. Then I'm gonna do some dishes and go to bed. Gotta get up tomorrow morning even fuckin' earlier than I had to today, and walk to work yet again. My life is fun.