Well, I basically pissed yesterday away. I didn't apply for any jobs. However, I did do some "research". Researching how to find a job. Research that was pointless. If there's any expert on how you should go about finding a job, it's me. I know it all. A week long course at college, countless career-search workshops, one-on-ones with numerous whacked out career advisors... I do, essentially, know it all. However, I also know that 80% of it is bullshit, and shouldn't be followed by anyone.

Know what you need to find a job? You need to know the right people. You need good timing. And you need to be looking for the "right" kind of job. That's all. It's as simple as that. However, I don't happen to know the right people or have good timing. And if I were looking for a part time fast food or retail job, hell... I'd be employed already. I could be employed three times by now. And nothing says success like leaving your full time job for three part time ones.

My big project yesterday was going to buy ink so that I can continue to print out shiny resumes that look impressive until you actually start to read them. My resume, at a glance, looks hot. That's pretty much the only job search advice that I've really taken to heart. How to pimp my resume. You know the secret? Verdana font. Verdana is the best font. It faxes and photocopies well, and it's just generally easy to read. And I use the page space well. Bold in all the right places. Hotness.

And also, for my employment history, I use just the year(s) that I held the job, instead of the months and years, to perhaps trick people into thinking that 4 months isn't the longest I've ever held a job. I also kind of merged two jobs I had into one on my resume, because they were back to back (with an 8 month gap inbetween), and at the same place. Looks impressive, having worked the same job from 2000 until 2002. And it's not technically a lie. It's just stretching the truth a little bit.

HIRE ME NOW!

Hire me, but tell me you don't need me to start until August or something, so that I can still enjoy some freedom. That would be ideal.