Do you know what Friday was? It marked my 6 month anniversary of moving to Cracktown. I'm probably the only one who noticed this. My mom didn't even say anything, and she's usually the first person to point out occasions like that. So, of course, in true Emu fashion, this 6 month anniversary got me thinking and nothing good ever comes of that. I'm happiest when I don't think. I do have a tendency to think myself into deep despair.
While I like Cracktown as a city, I like a lot of the people I've met here, and there's a lot going on... I'm still not happy with the whole thing. Nothing has really happened like I thought it would. I feel like I've made nothing but a long string of really bad judgment calls ever since I stepped foot in this city, and I can't really see me snapping out of it any time soon. I can't think of one accomplishment I've made since I got here that I'm proud of. I know that making mistakes is part of being human and a part of growing up, and I know I still have a lot of growing up to do but it's just so frustrating to me. What the hell do I have to show for myself for the past 6 months?
I don't think I really made a mistake by moving here, though. I had to do something. While I don't feel I've really accomplished anything in my 6 months here, I accomplished even less during my time in Nutty McShitville. And I do think Cracktown was a better choice than the place I was originally going to move to. But still. What the hell, man? Why don't I have more to show for myself right now?
Oh, I'll get over it. I've just felt really depressed for the past couple of days because of this. And it doesn't help that I have a lot of other worries right now. Makes it worse, I think. Le sigh, and all that. The world keeps spinning, though, and I keep plugging away. If I had totally given up hope, I wouldn't be here writing right now. So at least that's something.
Anyways... bah. Life goes on. Let's see what happens.