Of course, what was I supposed to do today? I was supposed to go over to the little chickita's house for supper. As soon as I was made aware of what day it was, I checked my voice mail and low and behold, there was a message from the little chickita saying "Hey! You still coming over tonight?" She called at around 12:30, when I was out for a walk, and I guess I was in a place at the time that was too loud for me to hear my phone. And, of course, I didn't check my phone when I got home. So I just called her just now and got her voice mail, likely because she's busy with a large Easter feast. Dammit. I feel like a total idiot.
I'm not doing too great today. I've had all weekend to think about this, and I've decided that, despite what I said in Friday's entry, I am actually extremely upset about how things went that day. There was one event in particular... despite its badness, my supervisor never ended up hearing about it, however if he does find out about it... I'm going to be in a shitload of trouble. Because I fucked up BAD. At the time, I was just kind of like "Jeez. That didn't go well at all." But I was thinking about it this morning and I realized many more things that I did wrong. And it litterally made me feel sick. I just pray to God that it doesn't come back to haunt me. But I've definitely learnt my lesson from it.
My biggest problem is... it doesn't matter how much I know, if I get nervous all knowledge I have goes flying out the window. I can't think clearly when I'm nervous. And I make stupid mistakes. I get nervous so easily, and this really is a nerve-racking job, even if you're not a newbie. So unless I somehow manage to settle down, or I start to heavily medicate myself... yeah, I'm not going to last too long.
So, um... hope you had a good Easter. Hope you actually remembered that today was Easter. I hope you're a more intelligent individual than I am.