First of all... this morning I went to pick up a few groceries. The grocery store I tend to shop at is one of those where you can collect points, to make up for the fact that they're ripping you off all over the place. So anyways, the cashier scanned my card and she was like "Oh, this card has been reported as lost or stolen" to which I replied "Uh... what?" Yeah. So apparently that card is officially dead now, and I'm going to have to get a new one, something I'll do later. I'm not real thrilled about this. It's not that big of a deal, just kind of one of those "What the hell?" situations.

And I ended up hanging out with the Little Chickita today. For quite a while. Hense my considerably later than usual entry. Well, first we ended up meeting up with some friend of her's from out of town, who happens to be back here visiting. I hate situations like that. So they're all talking and catching up, and I just felt awkward as hell being there. Not good.

And the Little Chickita really does just piss me off all over the place. She is just not the kind of person who I would ever really associate with. So why do I? I don't know. She's just so full of herself, she thinks she's just so hot and so mature and so smart, and she's really none of the above. Like today she was going on about something, and she was all like "But I'm extremely mature for my age. The fact that they think I'm not is so gay." to which I replied "The fact that you still use the term gay in that kind of context really proves that you're not mature at all."

Then she'll get on my case about something, like not being happy or not opening up to her enough. Hey, the last time I opened up to her about something, she ended up telling all of her friends about it... and it was something that I just really did not need a bunch of semi-strangers knowing about me. So I'm not so much wanting to really tell her anything personal anymore, unless I really do want all of Cracktown hearing about it.

You know what I want, though? And I've been wanting this for a while, with very little success. I want a friend who accepts the fact that sometimes I just don't feel like talking. Who understands that I'm not always cheerful person. Who doesn't try to change me and doesn't make me feel like I should be acting like something I'm not. I fully accept the fact that I'm a little off-centre in the eyes of society but I'm just so sick of people who just do not get me. This is why I do have the tendency to withdraw so much. I am not naturally an anti-social person, it's just that when every social situation I'm in makes me feel like a reject, it makes me want to avoid such things.

I'm pissed off that I feel like I've completely wasted today. And I have.