So. This past week has been pretty ugly. In true Emu-style, I fell into a pretty deep depression after the events of Saturday night and the lonely sad hangover that followed. And Cool Dorky Guy, during my lowest period I've had during our relationship: MIA. Like zip, nada, he was just not there. And I understand that part of it was just bad timing on my part... I managed to pick a very busy week for him to have my meltdown... but it was just so disappointing. So much of his life these days is the gym, and also a high school friend of his whom he hasn't seen in, like, 8 years is back in town for a visit and... yeah. So he just hasn't been around. And I've just been falling deeper into despair.

We spent Wednesday evening together, and he was so tired from having been out until 3 that morning then having to work at 9 that he may as well just have not been there. THAT was disappointing. I thought our evening together would have snapped me out of my funk, but... no. Just made it worse.

We finally had a chance to talk today on our lunch break, because we didn't even take a break together yesterday since technically I'm supposed to cover his breaks when I'm supervising and he's on reception, but today he asked Programming Boy to do it and we went and talked and it was emotional and I said I was angry and hurt and he was all like "?", basically, because he's a man. Better than most, but still a man. And now he's at the gym OF COURSE but afterwards he's coming here and taking me out for dinner, and we're going to spend the night together.

As for my funk of a depression here... yeah, it's holding on longer than I thought it would, mainly because of the added feeling of abandonment I've felt this week, but I'm definitely working through it. I saw Capital City Guy for a little bit last night and we came to the mutual decision that we're not going to drink together anymore. Or at least not to the point of getting drunk, because we're going out for UFC tomorrow night and, well, I'm gonna have to have a couple. But I'm definitely just going to keep it at that. And Cool Dorky Guy is basically blaming Capital City Guy for everything that went wrong with me this past week, so he's wanting nothing to do with him and went on a rant earlier today about basically what a son of a bitch and less than a man he is. But really, this was a feeling I was going to get myself into sooner or later anyway, and it just so happened that Capital City Guy triggered it. It could have been triggered by any other number of things. So I don't really think that's fair.

But maybe I was being naive thinking that Cool Dorky Guy and Capital City Guy could become friends anyway. But I'm like that sometimes. At least Cool Dorky Guy is supportive of the fact that I want to maintain a friendship with Capital City Guy. Because I do. Definitely put a little more distance between us, but still remain friends. Cuz seriously, us deciding not to drink together eliminates at least 40% of how we spend our time. So, yeah.

Anyways, in other news... actually, there is no other news, I haven't been doing anything. Just sitting around moping. But maybe that'll change soon. I extended an invitation to Emo Boy to hang out again, since it ended up not happening last time, and I'm feeling the need to reach out to some new (or old) potential friends. Although that could be a whole other problem there because even though we were never officially anything, we practically were and maybe I should just find some friends that I haven't slept with. And when I think about it, I realize I still have a HUGE crush on Emo Boy. Heh. But still, he's fun to hang with so I dunno, I'm just trying to be socialable with different people.

Blah, I should go do dishes. Ooh, and watch Wheel of Fortune. Dishes during commercials. Yes, I will do this.