Emu's going through kind of a strange time right now, as you may have noticed. She's a very confused child. A couple nights ago I decided I was just going to tell Cute Emo Boy how I felt about him. I knew it wasn't going to go over particularly well but I just had to tell him. And I felt better afterwards even though yeah, he rejected me. For no particular reason other than him admitting that he's an asshole and that he's depressed and just wants to be alone. And I was like "That's fine, I understand, I figured you'd say that... I just had to tell you for my own sake, to get it off my chest." I mean, he never explained why he did the 180 towards me when he was crazier about me than I was about him, although I have my suspicions and they're complicated and mainly have to do with his friends, it was just closure for me to officially say something and officially be rejected. I felt better.
HOWEVER (!!!!!!), I'd feel a whole hell of a lot better if after that I didn't have to still see him 5 days a week. Yesterday at work, though, in the first time since... well, since the first time I ever saw him... I didn't even glance at him. Not a once. I was just into my work and having a surprisingly good day and... yeah. Not even a desire to sneak a peak.
Then after work I went to the mall because I got a text message from Telus saying I was now eligible for a free phone that looked pretty cool and even though I told myself I wasn't going to lock myself into another 3 years with them, my phone has been acting up and I honestly didn't think it would last me to the end of May when my contract would be up. This is how they keep people like me customers for life. Anyways, so I got my phone and I was, at first, extremely confused by it so I sat down at a seating area in the mall and dug into the manual and also started transfering numbers from my old phone. I was pretty into this, but I did vaguely notice a group of young men sit down in the chairs next to me and start talking. Eventually I'm like "That voice sounds familiar..." and I glance next to me... OF COURSE it's Cute Emo Boy. Because that's the kind of stuff God just likes to do to me sometimes.
I contemplated saying hi to him and decided I would, just because he clearly did not notice it was me he was sitting RIGHT NEXT TO and his reaction would be a little priceless. And oh, it was. Surprised look on his face, he was just like "Oh, um... hey. I didn't notice you there." And I was like "Clearly! Well I didn't notice you til just now, I'm playing around with my new phone here." Then I went back to that. Awkward hilarious silence between him and his friends for, like, 30 seconds. Then they arranged where they were going to go and got up to leave and when he passed me he was just awkwardly like "See you later" and I was like distractedly "Uh huh."
So then when I got up and started walking through the mall, of course I walked by them again... at which point I was just like "Okay, I'm getting out of here now." I mean maybe this is all very high school but... whatever. I blame him for making it that way, he's the younger one. Yeah, we'll go with that. Anyways, after all this I met up with Capital City Guy to show him my new phone and we went out and he bought me a couple early Christmas presents... a couple Wii games because even though he knows me pretty well and had already correctly guessed which games I'd like, he wanted to make sure they'd be ones I'd play. He's a sweet boy. And, yeah, then we hung out and I ranted about Cute Emo Boy to him... I love how I could do that and he was completely oblivious as to why I was so upset. Either that or just in denial. He just figured I was upset because I'm a girl and I get easily upset by things and Cute Emo Boy was a person I became friends with who started acting like an asshole towards me. Which is true. But of course, there's more.
But yeah overall, my life is fine. I'm still super glad I told him. Definite weight off my chest and closure I needed. Yeah, would be easier if I didn't have to still see him everyday but it wasn't easy seeing him everyday anyway. At least it'll be easier to move on now. And, of course, the moral of this entry and many entries I've written is DON'T GET ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH CO-WORKERS. Words of advice.