So life has been a whole lot of suck the past few days. Had myself a little breakdown on Sunday night which sparked some concern from Capital City Guy, so he asked me to hang out on Monday night. Which we did but I dunno, he got a little preachy and stuff about how he worries about me and I need to do more things that make me happy... there's a limit to what more I can do, though. I'm fresh out of ideas. I'd like a boyfriend and someone to share my life with, but I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen any time soon.

Work has me really messed up what with Cute Emo Boy who I constantly just want to make love to and punch in the face at the same time (kinky, I know) and just general feelings of dread that I'm not going to make it through the day. I always do, I haven't had a reoccurance of the incident a week and a half ago when I bolted. If that happens again, then I'll be concerned. It's just a lot of things, still trying to learn all the supervisory stuff and just how no one takes me seriously. I dunno. I dunno. I don't know what to do about my job.

Geeky Lesbian bailed on me tonight, we were going to watch Glee together. And she didn't really tell me why she was bailing. I'm starting to think she may be even flakier than me. How is this possible? I dunno. But oh well, we still have plans to see strippers on Saturday, which Capital City Guy may end up coming along to. This was one thing that Capital City Guy and I got into kind of a "discussion" about on Monday night... our non-mutual friends. He always seems to want to butt in on things I do apart from him, but if I make some comment about his activities with friends separate from me he flips out. Like he has this female friend whom I've never met but they hang out, like, every weekend. And I asked "Is there a reason why I haven't met her?" And, yeah, he went off. I must be jealous. I asked if I had a reason to be jealous and he was all "She's taken! She has a boyfriend!" Whom I understand lives in California. Always good to have a boyfriend living in another country, I must say. That doesn't tempt you to stray at all. Ugh maybe this is why exes shouldn't be friends. But if I can't talk to him about this kind of stuff without him getting all spastic then I kinda wonder.

I just think it's weird that they hang out SO OFTEN, supposedly with groups of people, and he's never invited me along. Isn't that weird? I think that's weird. But yet he's all wondering why he hasn't met Geeky Lesbian yet.

Anyways, enough of that. Not that I have much else to say. I'm trying to keep a low profile this week, not do too much or spend much money so I can go out on Saturday for UFC with Capital City Guy and strippers with Geeky Lesbian (and probably Capital City Guy) without worrying tooooo much about money. But of course there will always be some worry. Which is exactly why I'm not in the hole right now. Because I worry and I'm smart.

Anyways... that's all for now. I'll probably write again on the weekend. Yeah appears this diary is now a twice a week kinda deal. Remember when I wrote every single day? Goddamn. I'm not sure how I managed that. Although I'd kinda like to be able to do that again.