Crappy Thanksgiving

So, with it being a long weekend, I went to Nutty McShitville. And it was thoroughly depressing. It reeeally hammered home the fact that I have NO ONE. There were all these plans for Saturday night for the old gang then at the last second, EVERYONE bailed. It sucked hard. And my parents are so emotionally distant and seemed completely unphased by my threats of not coming back until Christmas. So I'm just loved all over the place. I hung out with Prince Albert on Sunday night and it was good and fun but I know he's just hoping for something to happen with us again.

I met up with Capital City Guy in Cracktown so we could drive back to Capital City together and... yeah. I dunno. It's complicated. I love him. And he said some things when I was pouring my heart out to him about how emotionally damaging this weekend was, that made me realize that he actually GETS me. He really does. But then when I was hanging out at his place this evening, I caught a glimpse of the subject line "So how was the date?" on a Facebook message he got so I asked him about it and he reluctantly admitted that he went on a date with someone that one of his friends set him up with. And I was all "Haha oh that's fine, I mean I've gone on dates since we've broken up too..." But now I've been sitting at home thinking about this for a while and... well, I'm really not so fine with it afterall. Cuz I love the guy! I would pretty much marry him tomorrow if he asked me to.

Bah, I dunno. Life continues to be complicated. Pining for my lost love with Capital City Guy. Torturing myself over what went wrong with my never ending crush Cute Emo Boy. And Prince Albert trying to sneak back into the picture. And work has been so shitty, I keep getting all this crap piled on me and I'm going to have an ulcer soon from the stress. And every single last person there, with the exception of Cool Dorky Guy and occasionally Cute Emo Boy, is a complete asssssssssholllllllle. I have never been associated with such a fucking horrible group of human beings in my entire life.

I'm pretty miserable just in general lately. And I don't even know what I can do to make things better.


2009-10-12 at 9:42 p.m.