Anyways... YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT MY MONDAY EVENING WITH CAPITAL CITY GUY?!? *headdesk* First of all... cue the bouquet of roses. Then the "I've spent the last year and a half being wrong about how we're not meant to be together" speech. And basically how the sun just shines out of my ass and he wants me to have his babies. And he's all pro us living together liekkkkk RIGHT NOW. And I was all pretty honest... basically saying "You're too late, buddy." Six months ago... yeah, sign me the hell up, I would have been all over that. But now... no. This is not what I want. It would be an extremely stupid decision on my part to do this because I know that everything that was wrong with our relationship would just pop right up again.
Plus... I know we've only been seeing eachother for about a month but I just won't give up Cute Emo Boy for him. Things are going too well, and I just know I'd regret that. Cute Emo Boy and I came here on our break yesterday instead of sitting in the field, since it was raining, and he saw the bouquet of roses and I could tell he was trying to be casual about it but I could also see, like, the panic in his eyes. It was pretty cute. I explained to him the situation and that I wasn't going to go for it, and he was all "Yay!" Then he was very sweet and cuddly and awesome for the rest of our time together. I am so smitten. So smitten. We talked a bit last night, he has to take an extended lunch break today to drop off an application for an apartment so we're not gonna be able to hang out then, but we're going to do something when he's off work. We figured we'd watch a movie here but that may be a little less than ideal now with my bed currently out of commission.
I went hung out with Capital City Guy last night for maybe about an hour, just because he called me when I happened to be at the grocery store across the street from him and asked if I wanted to stop by. I can tell he's pretty desperately trying to win me over, but I'm standing pretty firm with my "Yeah, we can be sweet and friendly with eachother but that'll be as far as it goes" stance... and I can tell it's making him pretty sad. But going back to him, as much as a part of me wants to, would make me pretty sad. Yeah... no man, I just can't do it. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO LIVE FOR! Or something.
Fuck, I wish I could just pump up my air mattress right now and hope that it lasts me til morning before completely deflating again but that probably wouldn't work, plus the fact that the pump is loud enough that it would likely wake up the entire building. FML, and such. Well... I guess I should make up some concoction of blankets and towels and anything else semi-soft and hope that it's comfortable enough for me to fall asleep on. Should be fabulous.