And, yeah, it was basically everything I expected him to say... blah blah blah, he can't picture himself marrying or having kids with me therefore he doesn't want to be in an actual official relationship with me, although he admits we basically are in a relationship except for us publically admitting as such. Apparently this "Can I keep you?" kick I've been on lately really pisses him off and makes him pull away. Well what-fucking-ever. And he's all "I know I'm disappointing you because you want more." Making me to be the victim that I don't necessarily believe I am. I mean... yeah, I'd like to say "This is my boyfriend, Capital City Guy" but... I don't want to marry him nor do I want his demon children. The guy drives me in-fucking-sane but at the same time I just adore him, that's why I keep hanging around. But I think it's bullshit that just because he doesn't think I'm marriage potential, we can't have a real relationship. Is he saying that every single girl he's had an actual relationship with, he could picture himself marrying? I doubt it.
A large part of me blames his last ex-girlfriend. I'm pretty sure she broke him.
So yesterday I went to go see Giggles at work and she FINALLY gave me the 80 bucks she owes me. So this is good, this will go towards bus fare to and from Nutty McShitville. MONDAY! Unless work calls me tonight saying they need me Monday then TUESDAY! But I doubt this. I actually worked today, a whopping 5 hours (making a total of 13 hours this week... hooboy, I can retire now!) and even though my supervisor wasn't at her desk when I was on my way out, I overheard her say to another temp "You'll get a call tonight if there's work Monday... but it looks very unlikely."
Today at work was our Christmas lunch... it was good, that is why I worked today because apparently my supervisor has been trying to spread the work out as much as possible, so that she could have more people working today while the lunch was going on. So I expected there to be more than just 2 temps there today because of this but... no. So I'm pretty sure there's a huge case of favourtism going on. No one even came in who wasn't working for the lunch. My supervisor was just like "It's just us who's coming in for this, so help yourself you all that you can eat." And oh boy, did I ever. Won't have to eat for a couple weeks. But my point is... did she not even call any of the other people to say "Hey, feel free to come in for this"? I'm guessing no. Cuz a lot of people will at least come a little bit out of their way for a free meal. But, yeah, no one came. Oh well. Even if there is a load of favourtism going on, which I've always suspected but now almost fully believe... at least I'm one of the slightly more favoured. Could be worse. Although a 13 hour work week bah-lows. But, better than zero hours for next week, which I'm just going to pretend is entirely my choice but they probably wouldn't call me in at all anyway...
Now I'm going to take a shower, maybe take a nap, then catch up some more on Dexter... been working my way through season 3 online. See if Capital City Guy calls me tonight, which he might, but I'm sure not calling him. I am definitely gonna ease off a lot after last night's conversation... still love him, still wanna be with him, but gonna take a more casual approach towards it. And you know, for the first time since being with him I actually feel pretty confident about being able to do that. I think our conversation was actually quite good for me.