Okay, so ADD came over Saturday night, cuz we had plans to hang out. I was tired, so I suggested he just come over and watch a movie. I was in the mood to watch Brokeback Mountain, cuz I hadn't watched it in a while, and after many protests from him, he eventually caved in and we watched it. Then we went out for pizza his treat, then we parted ways. Then on Sunday morning he sent me this hella long text message telling me how hard it was for him to watch Brokeback Mountain because when he was little a teacher made him and another boy do things to eachother while he watched... which is horrible beyond belief and I'm so sorry he had to go through that but... I don't get the connection. Just cuz the movie involved a homosexual relationship? I don't mean to sound insensitive cuz I'm really not, but if anything even remotely homosexual scars him for life because of what he went through as a kid... well, he's going to have a hard time functioning in society. One thing that has always pissed me off about him is how often he flings around the word "fag" as an insult. I think he needs to deal with his trauma in a healthier way.

Then today he sent me another really long text message saying he doesn't want to see me "in that way" anymore. So, like, he broke up with me... despite there not being anything to break. At least in my view point. So I'm like whatever. That solves the problem as to whether or not I actually like him in any kind of significant way.

Yesterday was a very disturbing day all around. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm just paranoid, or if people actually are doing what I think they're doing... meh, I don't want to talk about it right now. But it ended up with me literally locking myself in my room for most of the day. I don't want to feel that way ever again.

Today I met that guy off of Plenty Of Fish that I briefly talked about last week... the only guy that contacted me on there who seemed like he may not be totally crazy. I kinda liked him, he seemed a little nervous which was cute... yeah, we just hung out at this park for about an hour-ish... was kinda fun. But I was really nervous too, and tired so I just kinda laid on the grass with my eyes closed for longer than I maybe should have. But oh well. He seemed fine with it. He was super sweet and pretty cute, except he looks way older than he actually is. He's 29 but he looks at least 35. But still very nice to look at. But I dunno.

So I haven't seen Capital City Guy again since Saturday morning. Briefly talked to him on the phone on Sunday when he called me after seeing my status, referring to the disturbing events of that day, to make sure I was okay. And that was it. I still don't know what to make of all that happened... I don't know if it means we're back on or if it was a one time thing and we're still just going to try the friend thing or if he's gonna cut me out of his life completely now... I just don't know. I don't know I don't know I don't know and I'm afraid to ask.

Oh, and I didn't mention the reason why ADD "broke up" with me... it wasn't because I made him watch Brokeback Mountain. It's because he can apparently tell I'm still in love with Capital City Guy. I was all "[Giggles] has been talking to you, hasn't she?" And he was like "No, she hasn't said anything... I can just tell." Whaaaaaatever. I mean, yeah I'm in love with Capital City Guy but I don't think I make it the least bit obvious when I'm around ADD... ugh, whatever. Whatever.

Alright, enough of me. I dunno what I'm going to do with the rest of my night... I appear to be very restless.