Today was really just one of those days that by the end of my shift I really just wanted to shoot up the place. Goddamn, these people that I work with... the largest group of motherfuckers that I have ever experienced. Like, I have a hard enough time not feeling awkward as it is because, let's face it... I'm just awkward. And I'm still relatively new at this... I mean, it's all stuff I've done before but every store has a different way of doing things and... I dunno, I'm just having a hard time adjusting and getting used to this particular store's fucked up-ness. And, yeah, another one of those days where it took FOREVER after work for me to calm down.

Although, don't get me wrong... I've hit it off pretty well with some of my co-workers... the assistant supervisor person or whatever she'd be called has been awesome to me... and most of the people there around my age seem to have taken a liking to me as well. It's just... THE OTHERS. Gah.

I need to stop thinking about Capital City Guy... the amount of time he takes to ever respond to any message I send him makes me paranoid. Emu is scared of fucking it up with him. I even told him last weekend when I was there that I was amazed I hadn't completely fucked it up yet. Yeah, I managed to say that to him in between me acting like a complete emotional basketcase... how many times have I cried infront of this guy now? Like... 20? I'm amazed he hasn't run screaming. One of the reasons why I do really really want to go back and see him ASAP is because, even though last weekend went pretty well... I still clearly was not of sane mind at the time (because of stress and the like and I probably need to increase my meds...) and... yeah. I want to, like, zen-ify myself and just have a fun time with him without me having "a moment". Or several moments.

Oh, and I've been checking out his ex-girlfriend on Facebook, just because curiousity gets the best of me sometimes... there's no actual pictures of them together but just looking at her... what a weird pair! She's all like "Look at me, I'm all goth/punk/hardcore with my huge tits and babyface" and he's... well, he's Capital City Guy. I've gotten conflicting reports from him about whether or not he's over her... I mean, they were together for a couple years and they lived together and I think they only just broke up a few months ago. Interesting pair, though, and it does kinda seem like he's doing a 180 by involving himself with little ol' me. Except apparently she's a psycho emotional basketcase as well. Even more so than me. So I guess that's why I haven't completely scared him off yet with my behaviour... I guess I'm pretty lax compared to her. But she looks so interesting, I like her style, even if it appears to be poseur-ish. I'm all intrigued by her now.

Anyways... work again tomorrow. Late shift, though. Which is both good and bad. Hopefully it'll go more smoothly than today. Well, it couldn't possibly go much less smoothly... not without deaths being involved.