This weekend has been kinda depressing. I've consumed too many calories and spent too much money. I spent most of the weekend with Capital City Guy. Drank both Friday and last night. He was gonna take me along for more clothes shopping, except he decided he wanted to take me for a large lunch first where I ate a hearty meal and got quite sleepy, because that's what I do. So while he was spending 5 hours looking in a book store afterwards, I was all slumped over and half dying in a chair. Not the greatest time of my life, to be sure. We never did actually get to the clothes shopping. We thought about maybe doing it today, but then neither of us were feeling it.

I got really depressed last night while drinking. Several reasons, all of which were amplified by the alcohol. Capital City Guy... I dunno, I think he's more depressed than he will ever admit to and it's just hard to be around him. And it's difficult for me when he asks me to come over and then just plays his computer game, not paying any attention to me. Then when I say something about going home, he acts all hurt and somehow convinces me to stay, even though I'm bored to tears. He doesn't have cable, he only has so many movies, most of which I've seen, and yeah he has books, but I can only read for so long, ya know?

And he got pissy because I made a comment about how I have to say everything twice because he never hears me the first time and I already told him why that kind of thing effects me emotionally more than normal people (long story), and somehow it all just boiled down, in his mind, as me being a bitch and... well, I dunno. Then I decided to leave this afternoon after I heard him yelling on the phone to his mom who told him he needs to stay more in touch with his family... it was uncomfortable for me to listen to. It made me realize in a way that I'm kinda lucky because he hasn't completely cut me off, like he has with essentially everyone else. He's always saying how he needs to call back this person, or respond to a message from that person, but he can never be bothered. He's withdrawing quite a lot from everyone, and while I'm the queen of doing that sort of thing myself, he's putting me to shame in that department. And I don't think he realizes what he's doing.

He says he's stressed out from work, so he's just starting two weeks off right now. I don't know whether this will solve anything. And when he goes back he'll have different shifts... he was working 9 hour shifts, 4 days a week, which he did not like, and now he'll be working 7.5 hour shifts, 5 days a week. He says 9 hours is just too long to be doing the work he does, but I just know that after the schedule change he'll be saying 2 days off isn't enough for the work he does. I dunno, I'm just beyond being able to even help him. But it's a hard time right now, because the job market isn't as healthy as it was and guaranteed if he did manage to find another decent job, it wouldn't pay as well as this one does. Maybe it's just because I don't do his job, but I think if I was I'd be singing and dancing all the way to the bank because it doesn't seem to be very hard for the amount of money you make. Frustrating, sure, but my job is frustrating too and he makes twice what I do.

Giggles called me today after 2 weeks. I had to fill her in as to her shinanigans at the bar on UFC night, because she didn't remember a damn thing. She called at 1 this afternoon, drunk. Said she'd already been drinking for 3 hours. And she tried to make me feel bad for never calling her. Maybe that's because I can never figure out a time to call her when she might actually not be drinking. I'd rather just pop in on her at work every once in a while, because that's probably the least likely time she'll be drunk, but even that's not guaranteed. Argh, I just can't handle her.

I have a bottle of Bailey's chilling in the fridge, I might go grab myself a glass. Yes yes, I know. I have complete control over my borderline alcoholism, though, and I think I'd realize, faster than some of these "friends" of mine, if I start to develop a serious problem. But in the words of a former co-worker, "Alcohol makes the day go away." I kinda like that.