So I take back everything I said in my last entry about feeling normal and stable, because the past few days I've been anything but. I think it's a mixture of hormones and increasing my meds again... I'm flying off the handle at the drop of a hat here. One tiny little thing can just completely ruin my day, and make me break down.

Last night, this morning, all day at work, and right now are just, like PRIME examples of this. Um... well last night the Male of the former loveless bickering couple came back to town, here for a week visiting. And, like... I like the guy, we've actually gotten quite close since he moved because we talk on MSN a lot. We didn't know eachother for allll that long before he moved. So I was super excited to see him. And it was great and all that, he had a group of friends go out for dinner then hit the bar for some pool. But this one chick that was there... I met her at his going away party in August then she added me to Facebook and I've since then grown to despise the nasty little whore. I wasn't huge on her when I met her either, but some of the stuff on her Facebook... they make me hate all of womankind. Like she just thinks she's super hot and... I dunno, something about her BUGS me. But I keep her as a friend on Facebook, for some reason. Maybe because I find her easy to mock. ANYWAYS her presence last night pissed the hell out of me. And she brought two guys with her, and she was all dressed and acting like a supermodel, and just... gah. And after Capital City Guy and I left... aw man, I just WENT OFF about her. And I was just like "Whoa, this isn't like me." I mean, normally I think all sorts of horrible shit about people, but rarely do I express my feelings so openly. I've kinda become the person who has nothing bad to say about anyone. But MAN!! And especially since she hasn't even done anything to me... it was very out of character for me.

And I spent the night at Capital City Guy's place and this morning... HE was pissing the hell out of me. I didn't sleep well, and he did... and he kept waking me up by spontaneously asking for hugs in the middle of the night, twisting up the blankets, and sleeping in the middle of the bed so I had approximately 3 inches of space. Eventually I left and went to sleep on his couch. I ended up getting back into bed about a minute before the alarm went off and woke him up... and he hadn't even realized I had disappeared for a large chunk of the night. THAT PISSED ME OFF. YOU SHOULD REALIZE WHEN I'M GONE, ASSHOLE. WHAT IF I HAD BEEN KIDNAPPED?!? I realize now how irrational I was being, but I'm not exactly at my best lately. So I was kinda like "Don't touch me, don't talk to me, I hate you." I've since apologised. However, he's also sinced pissed me off again...

And, yeah, work today... I swear my supervisor is purposely FUCKING me around. I don't want to go into details, mainly because it would reveal too much about the nature of my job (TOP SECRET!!!!!!!) but today I was literally thisclose to just being like "Are you PURPOSELY trying to hold me back?!" But I didn't. Thankfully. I'm sure I'd regret this now.

And yeah, apparently right now Capital City Guy is off with the Male and one of his more annoying friends having a great time... his status implied this, that pissed me off. How DARE people be having a good time when I'm miserable! Then he sent me a text saying that they were playing some game I've never heard of... so I was like "That's cool, what's that?" And apparently, according to him, we've played it together before so I should know what it is. But this is actually quite impossible because guaranteed unless it's Guitar Hero, Rock Band, or Tetris, I have NOT played it. Not much of a gamer, you see. And of course THIS pisses me off because he's always doing this! He always talks about things like I was there when it happened and when I'm all like "Uh... I wasn't around for that..." it takes FOREVER to convince him that he's on crack. And if it's not that, he thinks I wasn't around for something that I was around for. Both infuriate me.

Anyways, now that I've gotten over being on the verge of tears, I think I need to venture off to my Friendly Neighbourhood Mall. Emu needs mass quantities of fast food, chocolate, and possibly a cute new shirt or pair of shoes or movie or just SOMETHING to take my mind off of life and make me smile again. Oh, and I also need vitamins. Because lord knows if I'm going to be miserable, I might as well be healthy while I'm doing it.