So this week has been varying degrees of weird with Roomie. He took me out for dinner on Monday night, which was all okay and stuff. Then after we got home I pretty much just went straight to my room and stayed there for the rest of the night because I was tired, so he sent me a "Oh my god, did I do something wrong?!" message on Facebook. Then later in another message (and I do find it somewhat disturbing that he's STILL doing the majority of his communicating verbally with me through Facebook) he asked if he could take me out for a romantic dinner and drinks on Valentine's Day. And that was basically my "Whoa whoa back this truck up" breaking point. I had to stress AGAIN that I'm in a pseudo-relationship with another guy who I am very in love with and that while I think he's a great guy, nothing can really happen between us right now. So I agreed to a non-romantic dinner a couple nights before Valentine's Day, cuz I'm not even going to be around then anyway.

Going to the Big City to visit Thing 1. Ugh. Oh well, I finally got her coat from the bar this evening so I can give that back to her. But I've already decided that when I go there I'm not going to drink at all and will just basically show her that I've changed and moved on and that she should too. We'll see how that goes. I guess I haven't been to the Big City in a while... most normal people would be excited. But me, I'm just like... fuck, what a pain in the ass it's gonna be to get there.

Oh, and I hung out with Roomie on Tuesday night, we just kinda sat there and watched TV. Shot the shit about various random things. That's more the kind of relationship I want with him. for the most part, I just want him to be my buddy. Although I KNOW this guy would treat me like a fucking queen, would put me up on a pedestal and give me whatever I wanted. And damned if that's not tempting.

So for the past few days I've been BITCHY as HELL towards Capital City Guy, and I totally know why. It's not really his fault, I'm just angry at myself for being so in love with him when there are at least two other guys who are very interested and I know would treat me better than he does. Not that he treats me bad by any means... it's just that for the most part he's not terribly considerate. He's pretty ignorant. He doesn't realize what a dick he can be. So I'm mad at myself for being so attached to him, and at him for making me that way. Like we have a great dynamic sometimes, you should see us when we're alone together... we play off eachother very well. There's a chemistry there. But he PISSES ME OFF more than anyone else on this planet. Ah, but he also makes me happier more than anyone else on this planet. So it's hard. It's hard. And I don't think anyone can understand.

I should go hang out with Roomie for a bit tonight. I'm leaving for Nutty McShitville tomorrow right after work for the weekend. I'm pretty excited, except for the bus ride which is going to be hell. There is nothing worse than that bus that leaves Capital City during rush hour and takes wellllllll over an hour just to get out of the city. I go insane EVERY TIME. But it means getting to my planned destination sooner than when I take the late bus. So there we go.

So I guess that's all I really have to say. Guess I'll write again sometime next week. Till then, my beauties.