But my vow of eternal sobriety took place when I woke up to a message on Facebook from Roomie sending me a link to the hotel he thinks we should stay at when we go to Seattle together and I let out a very surprised, very loud "WHAT?!?!!?!?!?!" Yeeeeah... apparently I agreed to take a little weekend getaway out of the country with him. Don't remember this AT ALL. And holy shit man, what are you doing taking the words of a very very drunk girl that seriously? I don't feel like I can face him right now... bad enough there was a semi-awkward meeting in the kitchen yesterday when I very hungover-ly stumbled in there for some much needed water. So I sent him a message on Facebook, as we so often do, saying "Um... no." Like apparently his big thing this whollllle time stopping him from coming on to me was that he thought I had a boyfriend. And of course, drunken me on Saturday night was all "I don't have a boyfriend!!!" Which is true but is also, in a way, not true so I explained that to him just like "It's complicated. He's not my boyfriend technically, but there's feelings involved on both sides and I would feel very very conflicted about going away with another man."
I talked to my mom about this because I was and still am DISTRAUT and she figures that because he is pretty much a hermit, clearly has not had a girlfriend at all in the time that I've been living here, that he takes any amount of attention he receives very seriously, and that I definitely need to not drink around him and watch what I say and do. I feel so stupid and like this is entirely my fault but at the same time... he's a bit to blame too for taking advantage of a situation... he's the one who got me so damn drunk. Ah, but that's my fault too for letting him. Ah, I don't know, why am I so damn good at getting myself into baaaaad fucking situations?!
But yeah, no more drinking liekkkkk EVER. I know I've said this before, and I'm probably not totally serious this time either, but... yeesh. Next UFC fight is in two weeks, this should be interesting because Capital City Guy will be around for this one, and apparently I made all these plans to go out again with Roomie, and I can't imagine either of them, ESPECIALLY Capital City Guy, will want anything to do with the other. It's just awkward and bad and I'm seriously gonna smarten the fuck up right now. Right goddamn now. I can't afford to make anymore really baaaaad judgement calls when it comes to my liquor intake. Every time it's just progressively worse.
Not to mention I'm still hungover today from Saturday night. Just so tired and feeling so sick, can barely keep any food down. I went over to the Female of the former loveless bickering couple's place because she was going to a party and wanted help with her hair and makeup... I don't understand why lately people think just because I have hair and wear makeup that I know the first thing about anything like that. So that whole experience had "Epic Fail" written all over it. But she cooked me dinner, and it was the first real meal I've eaten in days and... on the walk home, I had to stop several times because I was POSITIVE I was going to throw it up again. But as I was eating it I was praying "PLEASE let me at least leave before I vomit." And that was all I really wanted. Because I think me throwing up there would have just made my whole visit there just that much worse.
Anyways, I was trying to sleep just now but I couldn't, too much on my mind. My life is pretty screwed up right now. I have a feeling even though Capital City Guy says he's okay, he really isn't. I have a feeling things will be eternally awkward with Roomie. He hasn't responded to my Facebook message yet I'm kinda dreading when/if he does. And I'm dreading the next time I see him in person. But then if things keep going the way they are, that will be pretty soon when I run out to the living room and yell at him to turn the fucking TV down.