So even though the thought seriously does make me feel physically sick and brings me close to tears... I think I'm gonna break it off with Capital City Guy. I just cannot do this. It's not the fact that I can only see him every other weekend... it's because, like I've mentioned before, I can't stand the fact that he makes little to no effort to stay in touch with me between those times. I sent him a message (my third one in a row without a response from him... am I starting to seem desperate?) saying that if he's ever on MSN I really need to talk to him... and yeah. I mean, I know he's busy and all that right now... working 10 hour shifts and trying to maintain a social life... but if he still manages to find an hour or two per day to play video games, he can take 5 goddamn minutes a day or even every couple days to just be like "Hey! Hope you're doing well. This is what I'm up to. How are you?" sort of thing.

And, also... the more I think about it, the more I'm not sure I buy the shit about his ex-girlfriend. And even if it is true... well, most women would see 1000 red flags go up, and would probably turn around and walk away. So... yeah. I can't put up with this. It all kills me to sit here thinking about. Something needs to be done.

Something else that kills me when I think about it, although to a slightly lesser extent... work tomorrow. *shudder* I just hope that my supervisor is on the early shift, so I only have to put up with her for 2 hours. I thiiiiink she is, but I've been wrong about this stuff before. It's just... when I went that week or week and a half or whatever it was when I really didn't have to deal with her at all... my life was better. Way the flippin' hell better. I hate people having authority over me, but at the same time I don't have the confidence to try and challenge their authority, so I just end up filled with rage that I keep bottled up inside. Not healthy.

I went to Heroin River this evening with my parents. It was very unexciting. Cuz, you know... Heroin River is basically just Nutty McShitville except further north and filled with heroin instead of cocaine. However, that being said... there's now a transit bus that runs between Nutty McShitville and Heroin River (well actually, you have to transfer buses in Buttfuck Nowhere inbetween the two cities, but still...) and I'm thinking someday when I'm not working I'll just take off to Heroin River because... well, I've never really done the downtown thing there. I've just driven through it, but it looks like there's a lot of neat little shops there. Might be kinda fun. It's something I'm thinking about.

I'm not exactly in the greatest of moods tonight. I kinda just feel like curling up in the corner and dying. And I might just do that.