So after working til 9 on Friday night I'm gonna be catching a Greyhound at 7:30 Saturday morning. Getting to Cracktown around 9:30. Sitting with my thumb up my ass for a while. Taking a bus to NEAR the church and somehow hiking the rest of the way. In heals, most likely. Go to the wedding, smile, take lots of pictures... do more sitting with thumb inserted in ass... and I don't frickin' know how I'm going to get to the reception, again no bus really comes near the place... hiking again, I guess. I don't know how long I'm gonna want to stay there. There's no drinking and I'm not going to know anyone but the bride, and she'll probably be plenty occupied with other people... And, yeah. After that, my plans were a little less than clear. I thought about just jumping on the last Greyhound back that evening, but hospitality in Cracktown has been offered to me, which I will likely accept and it includes a ride back to Capital City on Sunday.
So we'll see how all this goes... I'm pretty sure Saturday is going to be hellish and I'll be extremely unhappy but I'm not going to not go to the wedding... So I'm going to make this work somehow.
But, yeah, Capital City Guy... last night with him was not pleasant. We both got upset over this misunderstanding... I just sat there on and off again crying and thinking out loud about what I'm going to do... and he got into some kind of extreme manic state where he fanatically started cleaning everything and decided to put his computer in the closet. I expressed concern about his mental well being. Then I was going to leave but it was pretty late and I was tired, so I just spent the night. Then this morning apparently I was being hostile towards him... gee, I wonder why. I cried a bit more, he kinda didn't know what to say, I left so he could get ready for work and he told me to call him after I'm off work tonight. So I will... as I'm walking down Prostitute Alley at 9 at night on my way home. You know... a normal boyfriend probably would have offered to pick me up instead of just saying I should call him as I'm keeping my eyes open for guys in cars slowing down and trying to offer me money.
You know, I'm pretty independent, and I don't think I'm as needy as most women in a relationship would be... but I feel like he has failed me time and time again when I've needed him. It's hard, because I do love him but... I can't stay with a guy like that.