So, the hike didn't happen yesterday because Capital City Guy turned anti-social again. I wandered to the mall yesterday afternoon cuz I got bored... then I felt like wandering further away but then thought "Well jeez, I don't wanna be way the hell and gone when he calls wanting to pick me up and go" so I called to see what was going on. And he was all "Um... well... I kinda just feel like dicking around at home alone..." FINE THEN. I didn't care, I didn't want to go on a hike anyway. He did say that if I wanted to go for a walk with him that night to give him a call later. And, foolishly, I did. And again I got the whole avoidant personality thing. But he said he'd go for a walk with me later, so I went over there a couple of hours after I called and we ended up going for a nice long walk. It was really nice.

We were so... uncouple-y during the walk, though. No holding hands, no overtly suggestive comments to eachother like we usually do... just shot the shit, talked about how we both want to move, stories from our past... that sort of thing. Then... yeah. We got back to his place, he said not so subtley "So I was hoping to just spend the rest of the evening alone. Is that okay with you?" And I didn't care, I like to sleep at my own place whenever possible so I feel like I'm getting my money's worth. And... yeah. That was it.

So, yeah, I bet ya $243,123,104.99 that he doesn't want to do anything tonight, so I'm not even gonna bother. Don't even really want to see him anyway. Sometimes I feel like I must be smothering him or something, but I really don't feel like I'm doing anything out of the ordinary. So I dunno. I don't know what to do. He often accuses me of being distant and aloof too, so me trying to ignore him more wouldn't be any good either. I dunno I dunno. I just don't want to mess things up. Again.

I'm sitting here waiting for the energy to go on my evening walk. I hope the energy comes before it starts raining. Looks a little nasty out there. Eh. I guess if it starts raining before I feel confident enough that I won't collapse in a fit of fatigue as soon as I'm out of the building, I'll take that as a sign that a walk tonight just wasn't meant to be. And I'll stay in. And clean or something. Or watch Dexter. You know... I had heard so much about the show that I decided to check out the first episode online last week and it was pretty good. I have no idea when the hell Michael C Hall got so hot. He wasn't that good looking on Six Feet Under. But, yeah, it was really good. Must watch more. Lack the attention span to watch TV, though. Episodes... too long. Brain... easily distracted.

I'm gonna go lie down now.