Friday at work I was so happy I was practically pissing myself with anticipation all day. Very surprisingly, work on Friday was really good. It went by fast, I was in an excellent mood... only thing was I managed to slam my finger in a drawer extremely hard, and the damn thing still hurts. But even that didn't get me down at all.

So my parents got there at pretty much the exact time I got off work. The new car is extremely cool. It's brand spankin' new, there's lots of space, and it's shiny as hell. I love it. They brought me back to my apartment so that I could drop off some stuff and pick up some stuff, then we stopped for supper on the way out of town and then whee! Off to Nutty McShitville.

It was good. It was so good. It was so nice spending time with my mom. And I got to see my grandma a couple times. I just got to relax and have fun and it was all so great.

Then my parents drove me back this afternoon. They were originally just going to send me back on the bus but since they didn't have a chance to do any shopping when they were here on Friday, they decided to come back to do that. And, yeah, they just left about half an hour ago.

And now I'm more depressed than I can tell you, because these trips back home just make me realize how goddamn sad my life has gotten. And after all this time it shouldn't be getting harder to say goodbye to them, it should be getting easier. I swear, I can't keep feeling like this. I feel like I'm going backwards in so many ways. It's weird how a couple days of joy can just make you realize again just how miserable you've become. I typically don't write about this, but sometimes it feels like I spend too much time trying to be funny in here. You read some of my entries and it sounds like I'm doing a goddamn stand-up comedy routine because I think amusing anecdotes about broken toilets would be more enjoyable for you people to read than confessions about how I've cried pretty much every freakin' day for the past 3 months or so.

Oh, and speaking of my toilet, it's fixed again. Praise the heavens.

ANYWAYS... yeah, I'm extremely unhappy in my life right now. I just wish I knew what to do with myself. These trips home make me realize that it doesn't really take a whole lot to make me happy, but yet it's still more than I'm able to do for myself here. And that sucks.