Anyways, yeah, now that I've gotten that out of my system... gah. Oh, Capital City Guy... the source of both all my happiness and all my anger. Last night started off fine and dandy... beer, Rock Band, and chips with 7 layer dip... 5 layers of which I don't like but the other two were great... and, yeah. Then we had extremely hot sex that turned into nothing short of a sexual disaster. I don't feel like going into details about it, but it ended up with me sobbing in the shower and having to remind him this afternoon to remove certain items from public view before people started coming over. And, yeah, me telling him to put that stuff away was the only near-mention of last night's events from either of us, so I have a feeling this is something we're not going to be talking about. Okay then.

Then this afternoon him, me, his friend who he thinks has a crush on him, and his awkward nerdy friend who is kinda cute, went to that provincial park just outside of town. And it was fun and all that but goddamn, you know... I hate the way he is around his friends. He talks so goddamn much about stupid goddamn shit and just comes off sounding like a bumbling nerdy fool... I know he's not totally like that but it's like he's trying to over compensate for being self-conscious or whatever it is that he is and it's just disasterous all over the place in my opinion. The reason why I did not like him when I first met him was because of all the dumb shit coming out of his mouth. But he quickly started to act more normal around me because I guess he felt he really didn't have anything to prove with me and I just wish he'd be the same way around his friends. Cuz it's just exhausting for me to be around him when he's like that. I can't really handle it.

So we were all gonna go out for supper and play Rock Band tonight but I bowed out gracefully, saying I was gonna go home cuz I didn't feel well. Which in a way is true because I don't... too much sun and I'm kinda crampy and stuff. By the way, I got to start taking the pill today. Joy. But... yeah. The real reason I didn't want to hang out with them anymore is because of how he is around other people. I can seriously only take so much.

He always points out when other people are "socially awkward" without realizing just how much he is too. I actually had the balls to call him on this one day, but he doesn't see how he could be perceived as such. He clearly CLEARLY tries too hard in social situations, though... trying to hide or make up for something. I know how introverted he is, though... he needs just as much if not more alone time than I do, especially after social situations, and he does tend to eventually withdraw a lot. Clearly the guy is very introverted and I can see it. But it's like he'd rather make a fool of himself than let anyone else see it. However I don't so much care about such things... I'm friendly, but I make no effort to be anything I'm not. Clearly, I'm a quiet person. Clearly, I'm shy. I don't care who knows it and who sees it cuz it's a stone cold fact and if you want to be my friend, you have to accept that. And it hasn't hurt me any, I'm still fairly popular. I just wish Capital City Guy could act more normal around other people. I love spending time with him when it's just him and me because of how he is. More people need to see that.

Anyways, enough of my rambles. I'm just gonna chill out here for the rest of the evening, and probably end up calling it an early night.