The Male arrived in town on Friday. I met up with him after work at a mall, we went downtown, met up with various other people for dinner... Then yesterday I hung out with Capital City Guy and him for most of the day... and my god. Capital City Guy has really been slowly proving himself to be the most jealous man on the planet. Everytime the Male would stroke my neck or touch my hand or anything, Capital City Guy would shoot him a dirty look and/or pull me away. He's being very jealous and overprotective and, um... boyfriend-y. Which he shouldn't be.

Friday night after the dinner, Capital City Guy and I started texting eachother... about how I've apparently been hurting him with my behaviour the past little while. Which was basically just me being a hell of a lot more adjusted to the idea of us being broken up than he is. But I'm also emotional, I was tired, and I still very much love that man, so somehow I ended up apologising profusely to him... something that left me very "WTF!?" later on. And, yeah, the next day when I was hanging out with the two of them... despite Capital City Guy being jealous, he was very sweet and I ended up spending the night with him. And having sex with him. Which has left me feeling very headdesk right now because he probably took that way more seriously than he should have. But I was just... I dunno, felt like the right thing to do at the time. And it was amazing and there was a connection there but... I shouldn't have allowed that to happen.

So I was hanging out with the Male today one-on-one and we were talking about Capital City Guy... he commented on how he's clearly becoming quite possessive of me, despite the fact that we are broken up. He said how the two of them had discussed the breakup right after it happened, and how Capital City Guy was fine with it because he was thinking of breaking up with me anyway but now he seems to have done a complete 180 for whatever reason. And it makes me so sad because I thought we were finally on the same level and agreed that this must end. And it's hard because I love him and I don't want to lose him in my life so part of me just wants to go along with this, just so I know he's still there. But I know in the long run that is NOT SMART. I need to be more honest with him, I need to tell him about Cute Emo Boy, especially if it continues to get more serious, and I need to do this pretty soon. The Male said he's also going to talk to him about how he needs to let go. I can't see that going well, though. I can't see any of this going well.

But yeah, the Male was over here today and I almost had to physically kick him out... when I'm distressed I generally prefer to be alone with my thoughts, although talking to him about this was beneficial... he was just here too long. Go away now, please. 'Kay. Thanks.

And there has been many a text from Cute Emo Boy this weekend, getting his drink/drug on with his friends in the Big City. Oh and yeah, that is the one problem I have with Cute Emo Boy... he's pretty into drugs. But I'm just going to let that slide. He clearly has it under control. But yeah, one of the texts he sent me was just so great. He was just like "I love how funny you are, and how cool you are with everything. I really like you a lot." And I was all "Squeeeee!" I am excited to see him tomorrow and do lunch, if not also something after work. And starting Wednesday he is done school and back to being full time at work so that is two extra days of pretty pretty emo goodness at work and I am pleased.

And yeah, now you're pretty much up to date. I will continue to keep you posted on the borderline soap opera that is my life.