So Capital City Guy didn't wanna see me last night. And, like... even though I understand it still hurts. He was just like "I'm not in the mood for people or socializing... feels like that's all I've done all week." I dunno, just the way he worded it all around sounded like I was a hell of a chore. I wasn't exactly wanting to see him to socialize anyway. I just wanted to not be alone for a little while. I would have gone over, brought a book, let him play whichever video game is striking his fancy this week, then when I got bored I would have given him a quick kiss goodbye and left. I ask SO LITTLE. And he can't even deliver.

So instead I went to a mall and ended up buying a cute little black dress cuz it was 7 bucks. And every girl needs a little black dress. I like it, its an amazing fit. And... yeah. Then I spent the rest of my night sitting at the computer in my new dress, feeling generally irritated at the world.

I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do today, because it's gonna be too hot for me to go anywhere. You can tell all these people who love and get excited by hot weather don't rely on walking as their primary source of transportation. It pretty much renders me stranded when it's hot, cuz walking in the heat makes me feel so gross and sweaty and tired and like I want to die. Sure, there's the bus too but that still requires walking to the bus stop. Actually, not only that but first of all it would require me walking to the store to buy bus tickets. And that's even further away than the bus stop is.

Fuck my life.

If Capital City Guy doesn't want to see me tonight, I'm pretty sure I'm going to dump his ass. And that's not just me being melodramatic. You gotta realize that your girlfriend has needs too. Like... the need to not feel tragically alone in a city she doesn't know. If I was in his situation and he was in mine, I'd be making certain sacrifices for him. I've already accepted that he's probably not gonna want to go out tonight because he's sick now with the illness that I passed on to him. And he'll probably be all cranky and bitchy because I'm sure his apartment will turn into a sauna today, like it's prone to doing. And he's working on a Saturday, which he doesn't do very often but he still feels he's too good for. And... yeah. Today will probably be long and boring and lonely. Especially since I'm awake so goddamn early. I hope to be able to sleep some more after this, though. Cuz this is ridiculous.

My roommate has been gone 2 weeks now. If he's not home by Monday I'm gonna have to go pay the rent, and I'm not even totally sure where to go to do that. And I don't even know how much rent is. And I don't even know this motherfucker's cellphone number... when and if he ever gets back, I'm going to get that from him so if he ever does this to me again, I'll be a little less clueless and alone. I really didn't expect him to be gone this long. He said he'd probably be a week. Bastard. I hate all men right now. None of them can be relied on.