Aren't you proud of me for finally making up a cast list? Took me damn long enough, I've been meaning to do that for about a year now.

Anyhoos... I met up with Mouth this morning. She's working as a nanny right now, taking care of this little boy, and she decided to take him to the Semi-Good Mall this morning and asked if I wanted to meet up with them there. So I did. And on my way there, I got a phone call... I now have a job interview there tomorrow. Score. So... yeah. Anyways, hung out with Mouth and this cute little boy for a little while, then decided to go to the Good Mall.

And, like, even though I was at the Good Mall yesterday, I must not have been paying attention at all. Cuz, like, every time I turned around... "Oh hey, that's new! Oooh, that's new!" And they probably didn't make all these changes just overnight, so obviously I was just walking around with my head up my ass yesterday.

So I walked by Thing 2 and Bam's store once yesterday... and I somehow managed it THREE TIMES today (that wasn't planned, that was just me being an idiot) and... yeah. No sight of Bam in there yet. I have no interest in seeing the mofo, but at the same time... you know, I've never even seen a man shopping in there, let alone working in there. It's still... it's still just hard for me to wrap my head around. You'd think that any guy who'd be working in a store like that would be clearly clearly gay. Except he isn't. I did, however, see Thing 2 in there yesterday when I walked by, so I picked up the pace and avoided all eye contact.

I mean... Thing 2 may be 5 feet tall and 95 pounds soaking wet but... I'm still living in fear that one of these days she's going to kick the shit out of me. And I think she'd succeed too. Mean scrappy little bitch that she is.

Oh, so yesterday I was at the Semi-Good Mall, in a store filling out an application when this customer came in and just started FLIPPING OUT because he wanted to return something and didn't have the receipt, so the employee was just like "Without the receipt, we have to refund it at the price that it's currently selling for", which was apparently significantly less than he had originally paid. So he flipped out like I've pretty much never seen any customer flip out before, yelling "What kind of business is this?! I'm going to report you to the Better Business Bureau and you're going to get shut down immediately!" Which is hilarious, because this is a big chain store, and that's actually a pretty decent policy they've got going on. A lot of places won't even give you a cash refund without a receipt. But, yeah, I was just sitting there thinking "Man! I just cannot wait until dealing with psychos like this is my job once again." Life is good.

So, yeah, once I'm finished sucking back my 20th Diet Pepsi of the day (I have a serious problem, y'all...), I need to go out and pay my rent, and try to get some exercise. Go for a vigorous walk or something. Because the way I've been eating and sitting around on my ass so much lately, I am VISIBLY starting to gain weight. Before when I said I was people were just all like "Oh, you're just being paranoid." But now... oh, I can tell people are starting to notice. Like Thing 1, I could tell she had to really restrain herself from saying anything to me the past couple weeks. Ha. So, yeah. But if Emu weren't so damn hungry and tired all the time, she wouldn't be faced with this problem now. For reals.