Know what I remembered at about noon today? I had my camera with me last night. I no longer have that camera with me. I fucking lost my camera. Yeppers. You know... I hate that damn little backpack purse thing, I think I'm going to stop using it because stuff falls out of it too easily. That time in March when I lost my keys and a couple lip glosses at the bar, they were in that backpack. Last night when I lost my wallet, my camera, and another couple lipglosses they were also in that backpack... It's so stupid, because I was seriously planning on wearing my cargo pants that I wore the night before so that I could just have everything on me and wouldn't have to take any bags, but they stunk like beer (yeah, I don't think I mentioned how Thing 1 spilled beer on me, did I? But yeah, she did) so I had to wear other pants. And I had to take that backpack. And my camera was only in there because I forgot to take it out before I left. And now it's gone.
I called the bar I was at to see if anyone turned it in but... no. Gone. Gone gone gone. It wasn't the greatest camera, but it was only a couple years old and I paid a fair amount of money for it... I mean, what the hell is whoever has my camera now going to do with it, anyway? I mean, unless they happen to have the software and the cord to hook it up to the computer with, it's basically a paperweight.
I was talking to my mom, telling her how I'm on this downward spiral here... about some of the things I've done (leaving out all of the sexual things, though, because my mom and I just don't talk about that kind of stuff ever... although it was somewhat implied and I know she's not an idiot) and, you know... it's so lovely when your mother tells you to seek professional help. I know she's just concerned about me and I'm concerned about me too, but it's still harsh.
Thing 1 thinks I'm a slut now. I had forgotten about this until she called me this morning and reminded me, but when that guy was having his way with me last night she called me and I answered and... yeah, I guess it was kind of obvious what was happening. Except she thought we were actually having sex, which we weren't... he wanted to, but luckily I still had enough sense to say no and luckily he was a guy who knows that no means no.
Angry Girl's aunt called me this morning, since Angry Girl never went home and she didn't know where she was. Everyone agrees that Angry Girl needs a damn cell phone already. Anyways, her aunt went off on me a bit about what we've been doing "You know, this is how girls get killed!" And, you know... she's right. That is how girls get killed. I can't do this kind of thing again, I'm just lucky nothing worse has happened. And when Angry Girl called me today, she said the same thing. We're not doing this again. Running off with guys we didn't know, and then hanging around that crackhead... I'm amazed nothing worse happened.
And I was so depressed this morning when I woke up that I seriously seriously wanted to die. And I'm not totally over that feeling.
Oh, and a positive note on my negative situation... if I had a choice between not being able to find my camera or not being able to find my wallet after losing them at the bar, I'm glad it was the camera. I'd be a considerable larger amount of screwed right now if it was my wallet. I mean, sure, that 40 bucks is gone but I know there's no freaks out there running around with my credit card and SIN number. And I know I lost my camera at the bar too, and not some other time during the evening, because when I discovered my wallet was gone it was because my backpack was completely empty. I had just forgotten at the time that my camera had been in there too.
But in other happier news, some of the people I've found on Facebook... it cracks me up. Every man and his dog are on Facebook. People I've never expected to find on Facebook are on Facebook. You are probably on Facebook, aren't you? Well, why aren't we friends already? Yeesh.