"btw [boyfriend's name] would never do that. Let's face it, I'm way prettier and hotter than u. The only thing that happend was [boyfriend's name] passed out beside u so get over yourself"
So I guess she decided not to break up with him afterall. And what a nice girl, eh? Not to mention mature. Yeah. And I so wish I could be a 5 foot tall anoxeric bleached blonde and be hot like her and get a creepy-assed boyfriend like she has. So I responded with:
"That's fine, you can think what you want. I think it's shitty that you'd think I'd make up something like that, though. But I'm not into ruining relationships."
And... scene.
Whatever.
Work today was brutal. Why in the hell were there so many people shopping on Good Friday?! It was like Boxing Day crowds. I don't understand. The walk to work today was okay, but then when I told some of my co-workers that I had, they all offered to drive me home. Ha. So, yeah, I took one of them up on that offer. And it was while she was driving me home that I recieved that text message from Thing 2 that had me so distracted that I ended up telling her to turn down the wrong street.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Just recieved another text from Thing 2:
"Oh get over yourself. There is no way in hell [boyfriend's name] would ever do that because a) he loves me and b) he thinks you're an ugly lesbian. And the only reason he didn't say that to your face the last time was because he's a nice guy."
Pardon the expression, but... LOL. Alright, give me a moment while I think of a witty response... I can't believe I'm wasting 15 cents per message participating in this bullshit, but whatever.
Well, okay, really not that witty but:
"Think what you want, I just really don't care anymore."
I won't stoop to her levels of immaturity. I'd like to think I'm better than that. The fact of the matter is... I ain't lying. The details were a little blurry to me at first, but I never had any doubt that at the very least, he totally felt me up. But, you know, if he's not into ugly lesbians because he has such a hot piece of ass already, then... well, I guess I'm just wrong all over the place, aren't I? What a dumb dyke I am.
If this wonderful text message convo continues through the night, I'll update you tomorrow. I'm sure you'll all be on the edge of your seats.